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Truth and Transcendence, brought to you by being Space with Katherine Llewellyn, Truth and Transcendence, Episode 200, which I'm very excited about.
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And today we have special guest Susannah Darling-Khan, who's here to talk about letting go and about her wonderful work.
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And I'm going to say a bit more about Susannah in a moment, but first let me welcome you and say thank you so much for coming on the show.
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Hello, I'm so happy to be here with you, catherine, and I really want to congratulate you.
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200 episodes, wow.
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Before we go on to anything else, can you tell us what does it mean to you that you're on episode 200, as it happens with me Well?
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it's interesting because 200 is like a round number, it's something that we learn to see as an accomplishment, an arrival point, and for me the arrival point always affirms the start point.
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So there's a kind of a journey which is thrown into an extra level of affirmation and validation when one reaches one of those numbers.
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And I'm also aware of the fact that we've chosen the base of 10, and there are all sorts of other numbering systems that use different bases, and a lot of people are talking about quantum, this and that and the relationship with numbers at the moment.
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So it also reminds me of that.
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Okay, so 200 is very important to us, to the Mayans it might have been irrelevant, right, but to us, but also the fact that it's you here today.
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You and Yakov were my very first conscious dance teachers in 1998.
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In 1998, oh wow.
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I don't know if you knew that, because you were wrangling a group of well over 100 people for seven days in a dance camp, which must have been quite a thing to hold.
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So I would forgive you if you didn't even remember me from then.
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So you were there at the origin for me of my conscious dance journey, which has become a core element of my life.
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So there's a couple of special things going on here for me in episode 200, right off the bat.
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Wow, thank you.
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That's amazing.
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What an honor to have been your first conscious dance teacher in 1998.
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I know I was only four 1998.
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Is that what you said?
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I know I was only four.
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Wow, congratulations thank you very much.
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Yeah, so again.
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Thank you so much for coming on.
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I'm just delighted to have you.
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Have you joined me on Truth and Transcendence?
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So I will now tell everybody a bit more about you.
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So, as I've just alluded, Susanna was extraordinary already in 1998.
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And in fact had already been teaching movement as medicine since 1989 internationally with her beautiful husband Yakov.
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So they really know their stuff working with conscious movement.
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And now they are co-directors of the School of Movement Medicine and they have a wonderful book, Movement Medicine, published by Hay House.
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So an awful lot of expertise and grounded experience working with human beings, working with conscious dance and conscious movement.
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And Susanna's got a really interesting kind of signature of what she's known for, which is a kind of visionary weaving of the scientific, the psychotherapeutic, along with the systemic and ecological paradigm.
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So she's kind of weaves these together in a unique and very powerful way.
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And those who've worked with Susanna know exactly what I'm talking about and those who haven't, I suggest you check out what they're doing.
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And of late Susanna and Yakov are doing some very powerful embodied listening work, which I think is incredibly important at the moment because I feel like the evolving of human relating and human connection is a live and present topic for us collectively and individually at the moment, and there's a lot of awareness on it and there's a lot of stuff coming up to the surface in relationship to that.
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So the embodied listing work is just fantastic.
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So when I asked Susanna what might be a great thing to talk about, she said letting go.
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I felt yes, because so many of us are just so attached and hanging on to things when we should be letting go and a lot of us think letting go is just a decision let go and that's the end of the thing.
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But I think, as we will explore today in the conversation, it's a lifelong journey, not just something you just tick a box and then it's done.
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So, Susanna, I would love it if you would lead us off by giving us some idea of what letting go means to you and why it's been so important to you in your life.
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Thank you.
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Well, first of all, I'm just as much learning, and still learning, about letting go as anybody.
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It's definitely a deep existential aspect of life and it's not the whole of life, but it is there are.
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Let me start again.
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When you asked me about what was significant about my life that I might like to share, what was the kind of motif that kept recurring Letting go and having the courage, the confidence, taking the risk to let go of what had been the direction in order to realign with an inner sense of a compass that was compelling.
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That is something that I recognize looking back.
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How many times I and then Yakov and I have let go of something that was working really well and showed every signs of going on working really well in terms of status, in terms of status, money, et cetera, et cetera, and let go of it because it was no longer congruent with our integrity or with our desire that's maybe even a better way to put it our actual soul sense of direction, which I call the soul compass, sense of direction, which I call the soul compass.
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And I think keeping one's soul compass fresh and polished and readable by oneself is very important.
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And the first big one for me was leaving medical school and I was on a track to become a doctor and a healer and I was really really good at science and really into science, particularly physics and biology, and also knew that I was destined to be a healer.
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That was what I really wanted to be and felt I was.
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And because I was good at science, it made sense to do medicine, go to medical school first and then branch out into whatever alternative modality I wanted to specialize in.
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And I very quickly realized that that I couldn't do that to myself.
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It just didn't fit enough and it was going to be just too too.
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I would have had to kind of anesthetize myself, was how I put it to myself at the time so that leaving medical school felt like a huge risk because I was sure my parents wouldn't speak to me again, or wouldn't speak to me again for years, and it was completely not true.
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But nevertheless, that was my feeling and fear, which turned out not to be true.
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But it was like I just have to.
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I have to let go here of that road and follow this unknown road.
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I have no idea how I'm going to do to follow the vision that appeared inside me and I said to myself what do I really really want to do with my life?
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That was clear, but I had no idea how to go about following that.
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But the steps unfolded themselves over the following months and years after that.
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How extraordinary.
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I had no idea that you'd been in what you might call formal medicine at all.
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I didn't, no, but you had that intention right before that.
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You were going to be um a healer.
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Yeah, I just and now I knew I was exactly.
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I knew I was and I was really my first ambition.
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You know, my grandmother said what do you want to be when you grow up?
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I said a caveman, not knowing about gender at that point, what I would now call a hunter-gatherer or gatherer-hunter, and that became clear.
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It was about living with nature, living with the seasons, living with ceremony and dance and music and the natural world and community and that kind of sensate, that vigorous physical aliveness and spiritual aliveness together in nature, with us, with humans, and then realizing that actually it's quite difficult for somebody in the modern world to do that.
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And then that transmuted itself into okay, then I want to be an organic, self-sufficient farmer.
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My uncle was one of the first organic farmers of the new era, so I was very lucky to have a childhood with that input of what it's like to milk, to learn to milk cows by hand, to learn to to make hay by hand, all that kind of stuff, which was my heaven on earth growing up.
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And I just read a huge amount about herbs.
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I used to treat my, my fellow humans and animals with herbs and no one died.
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Some people and animals got really, really better, to the surprise of vets and doctors and whatnot.
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So, anyway, that was my first expression of more holistic healing.
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But then, at the same time, I was so, so into science and I still am.
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Yeah, that curiosity about how, the magic, the awe, about how things work, how we're constructed, how our bodies work.
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It's an absolute miracle, yes, or ingenious genius of 13.7 billion years of evolution that we're here at all.
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I feel exactly the same way.
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I mean, people talk about you know, are there any miracles anymore?
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You know, is there anything?
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Does anything extraordinary ever happen?
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Well, yeah, look my hand yes, exactly it is remarkable.
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So do you think that that um, that interest in science must have been um had a relationship with faculties that you had, thinking capacities that you had?
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Would you say that was true?
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Yeah, I'll say a bit more about what you mean.
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What I mean by that is, you know, when someone says they're interested in science, usually with further probing one discovers that they've got a particular, particular capacities in their thinking faculties, that they're able to explore things in a scientific way, if you like, or they're able to understand or have an interest in understanding those ways of breaking things down and and making sense of them, whereas somebody else, if you say you're interested in something in there, I just want to dig in the garden, or I just want to dance, or I just want to cook, or I just want to sing or I just want to, you know they don't want to go into those sort of inner cerebral realms that you need to work with science that you need to work with science Right.
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Okay, got it.
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Well, I think that is something you know.
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That's something of my particular signature is I really really need to be physically involved with life in a very kind of muscular, physical way and at the same time, I need to use a very kind of abstract layer of thinking and cognition, and this relates to letting go.
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I'm so, when I was doing my a-levels, I I was doing physics, biology and chemistry and maths and biology was really really, really fascinating in terms of this the awe of how our bodies work, and I remember learning about how the antelopes nostrils and the how antelopes nostrils are created, create this extraordinary cooling system to keep their brain cool in the heat of the African savannah, for example, and being like like feeling that I was kind of falling to on my knees in reverence for the exquisite perfection and I'm like who could have thought of that?
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How did that come to pass, particularly the antelopes nostril cooling system?
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But but it was physics that way which really really ignited me.
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And I had a teacher called mr bailey who was um amazing guy, and I remember him asking us in a physics lesson a level physics lesson so were electrons created or discovered, and I discovered, of course.
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And he looked at me with his piercing blue eyes and went, really, and as he looked at me, my world changed.
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And he was watching me, at least this is what I think.
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I think he was watching me kind of awaken to another level of self-reflective consciousness, because I would think what I was going through was ah, we've never seen an electron.
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We have made up the idea of an electron in order to help us understand these phenomena, which would be explained by something that we can ever seen.
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It's an explanation that we have.
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We've created the image of an electron so that we explain these phenomena which we've observed, and it looks like a good model, it's a hypothesis, but it's not no, it's a no, we created it.
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So that he kind of he was watching me like go through this, this paradigm shift, like, no, we, oh, we created the idea of it, it's our idea, it's our hypothesis, it's our model, oh, my Lord.
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And he was just grinning at me whilst I had this kind of like tectonic plates shifting in my consciousness.
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That was the kind of first.
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That was the kind of first, that was a kind of cognitive letting go.
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Well, we see the world as the world is, rather than we see the world as we make it up yeah and then that went on later on.
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I remember, yeah, and then I ended up when I left medical school studying anthropology, because I I was like, oh, I can't be a hunter-gatherer, then at least maybe I can learn about hunter-gatherers and how to do it.
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You know, really I was wanting a practical course in being a gatherer-hunter, but actually I ended up being much more interested in the lens through which we, as Western people, with Western history and philosophy and all those unexamined assumptions which every culture has about the way things are, the lens through which we conceptualize and create the world.
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Yeah.
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So it was actually looking at us, not looking at any other peoples.
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That was the really exciting and profound thing and that's really gone on being part of our work, very deeply finding tools to look at our unexamined assumptions, through which we construct the apparent world.
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Yeah, yeah, wow, fantastic.
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Well, I don't know, as you were speaking that you were obviously clearly in your presence and in your experience of sharing it, but witnessing it, I feel like I've just been told a story of how letting go leads somebody to the unique and most relevant outcome for that person.
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Because you were practicing letting go right back then, you were discovering that letting go was something that is your signature, and by letting go of things and practicing that as you went along, you've ended up doing this extraordinary work you're doing now, which I very much doubt anyone would have been able to predict back then yes, absolutely, thank you.
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What?
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What a deep um reflection of that process.
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Yeah, it was definitely.
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What's happening now is unpredictable and, at the same time, if you look at that little girl dreaming of a life with nature and with the seasons, and with ceremony and music and dance and singing and food and all of that and animals entwined, what I'm living is very, very related to that little girl's dream, but with central heating and dentistry, which I'm very grateful for, absolutely.
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And the plumber on today's particular and the plumber, and the NHS, et cetera, et cetera, all those things.
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Fantastic, and I was also very struck near the beginning of the conversation when you said about letting go that that you were.
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You were talking about letting go as being something that one does or ideally might do if the thing we're all, the direction we're already on or the activity we're already involved in does not align with our inner desire, our inner soul, compass, as you put it, which I love, and that notice that you're not letting go of the thing that you love.
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You're letting go of the thing that you've realized isn't actually what you love, which is very different, I think, from what a lot of people assume is meant when we talk about letting go.
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You know you've got to let go of that relationship, that money, that home, that this, because you've got to sort of sacrifice yourself, whereas you're saying something very different Let go of the thing which actually no longer is what you want.
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Yeah, yeah, that's really well put.
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Yes, thank you.
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Yeah, it's like the outdated set of clothes, the outdated um.
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It's not that it wasn't right, but that, for it's about following evolution, your own evolution, yeah, and yeah, I mean that's.
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That's certainly one part.
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If you look at life as a journey, there are these moments where oh, okay, where we are, if we don't let go, we restrict the possibility of our forward motion into something more aligned, and it is always a I think it always feels like a massive risk.
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Yeah.
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I'm certainly not suggesting that everyone should go around letting go all the time, because there's a time to hold on and fight for what you work, labor, put your shoulders to the wheel of the thing that you're involved in and help it become more aligned or keep you know, kind of pulling it back to the road or grow.
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And and those times you know the times to to labor within the structure of what you already are in, whatever it is, and the times to let it go and begin something fresh.
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It's a.
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It's a really's a really delicate and very individual balance.
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I don't think anyone can even know, certainly not for anyone else, but even for myself I couldn't have done the letting go as I had done until it was a natural, organic time and often a time of enduring, not knowing or being in the kind of um on the seesaw of is it this?
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Is it this?
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I don't know.
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I love what gabrielle roth used to say, that that if you don't know what to do, do nothing, but do nothing with style.
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Yes, she was so stylish she was very stylish.
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Do nothing, but do nothing with style.
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Yay, absolutely.
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And for anyone who doesn't know who Gabrielle Roth is, she was the founder and creator of the Five Rhythms Dance movement meditation practice, which you were involved, very involved with for a long time and I was very involved with for a long time, and the forerunner of many other practices, and there are still people doing that around the world.
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And she was an extraordinary, extraordinary human being.
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She once told me that she felt like she was.
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She looked like a Jewish New Yorker woman in her 60s or 70s, but really on the inside she was a black male teenager.
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Yeah, and that's what she was like and she just fully embodied that wonderful, wonderful woman.
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And there's something else that strikes me in what you're saying which is about, um, things don't necessarily have to go as predicted.
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And I've got a memory and I may have made this up, but I think it is a memory of when I was at that dance camp with you and Yakov.
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I was in the sharing circle and I said something about that.
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I felt my movement.
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I felt like I was affected or restricted or in some way didn't like the way.
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I felt forced to experience a particular thing or move a certain way on the dance floor because of how somebody else was moving on the dance floor.
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One of you came back and said you didn't have to respond that way to that happening around you and what you experienced when that happened.
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That's not an inevitable result of that, and that was an epiphany moment for me.
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That was an understanding that whatever is happening, or however I'm feeling about it, my mind will think of an inevitable path from that, an inevitable predicted path, which ain't necessarily so and that's the gap where freedom lies.
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Yeah, even if a microsecond gap of a breath or a dance, or what if something different was possible right now?
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And that's another letting go, isn't it?
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It's letting go of the predictable, letting go into the unknown, of what if there were other options, which I don't even know what they might be?
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But there might be other options, and I think that's the way that our lens that I was speaking about before, or our unexamined assumptions of ourselves as individuals, ourselves as families and as a culture, culture's work is that it's a kind of reduction of possibilities so that we can live, you know, so that we know what to do in this circumstance.
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And this circumstance but that is also very entrapping, and I think that's part of the power of embodied listening is can I let go of what I want to say, not forever, but just for a few minutes, to really really put myself in your shoes and see it from your point of view and actually not just hear it, but feel it?
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What is it like to be over there?
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And it?
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It's very simple and it's very radical, and it's very difficult for many of us, particularly when the topic is hot, and there are a lot of hot topics around at the moment.
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Yeah, well, exactly, and it's a game changer when you really feel understood.
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Yeah, yeah.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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And with the embodied listening work that you're doing, are you incorporating movement with other activities in relation to developing embodied listening?
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Yeah, yeah, so it's all about the embodied bit of embodied listening, I think, is the really radical bit, because we many, many people know, know and I wish more people knew about it, but still many people know about active listening, which is really really, um, a very important skill, and a lot of embodied listening is about active listening and letting you know what I've understood by what you said, for example.
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But the embodied bit is actually about interceptive, which means your inner kinesthetic sensei awareness and your skin inwards, about using that experience to really hear empathically what somebody else is saying.
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And interception is a skill or an aspect of ourselves as human beings.
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That capacity to kinesthetically feel what's happening inside, from our skin inwards, physically just very little acknowledged in our.
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In our education system it's not really acknowledged at all.
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I don't think in in areas of counseling and therapy and trauma work it is being acknowledged now in movement medicine it's, it's absolutely central and yakov always says it's the most important step in his growth and and a deeply important part of developing shamanic awareness.
00:27:36.385 --> 00:28:10.117
Yeah, but the key thing for me, one of the key things and learning about this is that learning that people who have very low empathy, ie people who have psychopathic or sociopathic possibilities or tendencies within their character, normally have almost always have very, very low interception and, of course, also normally have high trauma in their own background.
00:28:10.157 --> 00:28:24.969
So the way they've survived their own trauma is to turn off their interception, which means they can't feel internally what's happening inside them and therefore they can't feel empathy for somebody else who they might be hurting.
00:28:25.410 --> 00:29:01.065
Yeah, turn that around and say the more interoception I can develop, the more empathy I can potentially have with someone, and there's that what I call empathic resonance then, which means that I not only can understand what you're saying, cognitively, put myself in your shoes in terms of seeing the situation from your, from your direction, but also I can actually feel what it's like to be you, be in your place in whatever situation it is, and feel it with my own being, with my own body.
00:29:01.065 --> 00:29:02.661
Because how do we know what we're feeling?
00:29:02.661 --> 00:29:19.267
We know what we're feeling emotionally through our bodies and I'm having this conversation at the moment to do with medical school and doctors and through this extraordinary series of events.
00:29:19.267 --> 00:29:42.789
I'm just talking very gently with people that are doing medical education with young student doctors about embodied listening and how that might support doctors to learn more skills around listening to their patients, because apparently that is the number one thing listening.
00:29:42.789 --> 00:29:47.103
Not feeling listened to, not feeling heard, is the number one patient complaint.
00:29:47.163 --> 00:30:27.781
It's the number one thing that if healthcare workers can get it better, the patient experience is better yeah so we're talking about this thing about it's not just a tick box exercise of a technical skill of how to listen though there are aspects like you have to actually shut up and just be interested and listen but this, but the next layer of, of actually empathic listening, means you have to be at home in your own heart, which means you have to be at home in your own heart, which means you have to be at home in your own body, and that is deep work, um personal work, I mean, and the person I was speaking to about this was immediately got it.
00:30:27.801 --> 00:30:37.508
She was like, yeah, there's a whole undoing of medical training there, um to actually allow oneself to be affected.
00:30:37.508 --> 00:30:43.882
And then how do we support doctors and healthcare workers to be in their own hearts, which means being in their own bodies?
00:30:43.882 --> 00:31:21.006
I'm really fascinated that now, in my 60s, I seem to be turning back like the wheel, coming back to medical school, but with something to offer which would be an incredible, um fulfillment of a dream for me if I could bring something of value back that would support healthcare workers and their patients to be more humane with themselves and each other, um more healing within the nhs, you know which, which is so precious in this country and so yeah, so in such a difficult state.
00:31:21.994 --> 00:31:24.384
Yes, and I imagine many, many people would be grateful for that.
00:31:24.384 --> 00:31:25.718
That reminded me.
00:31:25.718 --> 00:31:38.455
I was once in a situation I'm someone who goes nowhere near hospitals or Western medicine as a general course of things, but I was in hospital and something, a test had just been done and someone came in to give me a piece of bad news.
00:31:38.455 --> 00:31:44.247
And the bad news wasn't that bad, it wasn't really a problem.
00:31:44.247 --> 00:31:48.479
It was oh okay then, but the way she communicated it.
00:31:49.201 --> 00:31:57.127
I was almost traumatized by the way she communicated it and I could see that she was incredibly uncomfortable making this communication.
00:31:57.127 --> 00:31:59.278
She was really distressed about this.
00:31:59.278 --> 00:32:06.487
She was terrified, I was going to be distressed and she was in a terrible state, basically, and then trying to tell me this information.
00:32:06.487 --> 00:32:17.768
And I remember noticing her and thinking there's something profoundly wrong here that this woman is expected to give people this sort of information and she's not prepared for it.
00:32:17.768 --> 00:32:28.340
She doesn't have the capacity to own her experience and then communicate in a way which says, oh, here we go, here's the result, and it would have been, oh, great, thanks for letting me know.
00:32:28.340 --> 00:32:30.487
Good to know, goodbye.
00:32:30.487 --> 00:32:39.900
But as it was that resonated with me for days and weeks afterwards this awful experience of the distress that was coming off her.
00:32:40.441 --> 00:32:41.964
Yes, yeah, that's what I just heard.
00:32:41.964 --> 00:32:48.604
The distress, yeah, that was in her system and probably in the system that she was part of.
00:32:48.604 --> 00:33:15.885
Yeah, I think that when my dad was in hospital recently and he died 18 months ago and that's really how all this came about was coming back into relationship with the medical system, was my father being in hospital and then he finally died under hospice care Right here where I'm sitting Extraordinary palliative care, I mean amazing, from the local hospice and the local district nurses.
00:33:15.885 --> 00:33:23.525
But the experience in the local hospital was so awful that I was coming back.
00:33:23.525 --> 00:33:26.544
Every time I came back from visiting him.
00:33:26.544 --> 00:33:43.136
I'd just be walking the hills where we live I don't know if it's the right way screaming, yowling, yowling, with a distress that I was like partly it's mine to see my father in this state and being treated in a way that was so.
00:33:45.285 --> 00:33:48.776
It was a mixture of things, but the heavy side was really heavy.
00:33:48.944 --> 00:34:16.416
It was really unskillful and disrespectful, but the feeling that actually even just going into the hospital, like the, the bricks and mortar were breathing distress, yeah, out and yeah and and through writing the book that I'm writing about accompanying my parents in their dying time, which was an incredible journey and that's a whole other letting go.
00:34:16.585 --> 00:34:25.740
Letting go like letting go consciously and, at the same time, being there side by side with our parents, which almost all of us, you know.
00:34:25.740 --> 00:34:30.565
Hopefully it's not our parents that will bury us, but they will bury our parents.
00:34:30.565 --> 00:34:34.293
Hopefully things are in that order for most of us.
00:34:34.293 --> 00:34:56.277
So that time when you, when we actually get to be with our parents, knowing that death is coming, it was so precious with my friends because they both were able to really meet, that consciously, communicate how they felt, you know what was happening internally in a very honest way, what, what they needed, and have those conversations.
00:34:56.277 --> 00:35:00.416
It was very, very dear and beautiful.
00:35:00.416 --> 00:35:07.150
But anyway, as I was writing this book, I realized I've got to go back to that hospital and say something because it was really not okay.
00:35:07.813 --> 00:35:13.764
Oh yeah, and I've got to say thank you for the good bits but also address the bits that were not okay.
00:35:13.764 --> 00:35:20.072
And I received such a incredible listening from complaints person of the hospital.
00:35:20.072 --> 00:35:31.286
It was quite extraordinary like wow, you know your stuff and she was, and it was empathic as it, what it didn't feel like I was just being, you know, ticked off.
00:35:31.286 --> 00:35:32.949
I'm, I'm listening, I'm.
00:35:32.949 --> 00:35:38.291
She was really there with me and as a result of that, I've been put in touch with you know.
00:35:38.291 --> 00:35:46.452
She was like we need you, we need you, we need your input into the system right so interesting.
00:35:46.492 --> 00:35:50.139
that actually put complaining but in a in a very positive way.
00:35:50.139 --> 00:35:56.597
It was clear I don't want to damn anyone, I don't want to get anyone in trouble, but I do need you to hear this, because it really wasn't okay.
00:35:56.597 --> 00:36:02.809
Yeah, so I'm trying to fit that into letting go, but anyway, well that was a letting go.
00:36:02.945 --> 00:36:04.652
I mean, you obviously did a lot of.
00:36:04.652 --> 00:36:13.175
It sounded like your parents did a lot of letting go during that process, so that must have they must have been amazing human beings to be able to do that.
00:36:13.175 --> 00:36:26.471
And you did a lot of letting go of the distress with your yowling, which is just sophisticated, in my opinion, way of responding.
00:36:26.471 --> 00:36:40.556
You also let go of your disapproval of what happened in the hospital by turning it into a gift, by going and giving it to them and giving it to you know not kind of nurturing it and turning it into a sort of a.
00:36:40.556 --> 00:36:42.989
People used to talk about the hurt museum.
00:36:42.989 --> 00:36:53.771
You know, you polish it and you put it on the shelf in the hurt museum and you go in there every night again and admire all the polished things on the shelves in the hurt museum I haven't heard that that's brilliant.
00:36:53.891 --> 00:37:01.512
It Well, I've definitely got a little Hurt Museum, but it's really good to get those things off and make use of them in a positive way.
00:37:01.512 --> 00:37:03.135
That is brilliant.
00:37:03.135 --> 00:37:07.253
The Hurt Museum, the Museum of my Hurts Exactly.
00:37:08.246 --> 00:37:22.695
I was given that by one of my teachers, robert Daubeney, who was on another episode, who created and ran the exegesis program in the 70s and 80s, which was very similar to est, a uk version of est.
00:37:22.695 --> 00:37:36.336
Right, okay, the hurt museum was something very useful for us to get our head around, because we were treating the hurt museum as if it was like something to be proud of and we we quickly discovered it was not.
00:37:36.336 --> 00:37:40.351
The fact you put loads of effort into it doesn't necessarily mean it's something to be proud of.
00:37:42.686 --> 00:37:52.193
Yeah, and you could say that, yeah, that that hurt museum becomes for many of us the lens through which we view the world.
00:37:52.193 --> 00:38:03.755
Yeah, the lens of our past hurts, as we've kind of polished them to be, and then we're looking for proof to re unconsciously.
00:38:03.755 --> 00:38:15.856
But because there is this part of our us as human beings that seems to love predictability, and I don't know if you know that phrase from burt hellinger, the founder of Family Constellations.
00:38:15.856 --> 00:38:23.436
He says, or said, it's far harder to heal than to hurt.
00:38:23.436 --> 00:38:32.230
Yeah, because it requires letting go of your story, yes, of the story of the hurt museum, you could say yes.
00:38:32.230 --> 00:38:34.876
Yes, of the story of the Hurt Museum, you could say yes.