Ep 188: Kim Korte ~ The Flavours of Emotions

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Truth and Transcendence, brought to you by being Space with Catherine Llewellyn.

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Truth and Transcendence, episode 188, with special guest Kim Cortey.

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Now, if you haven't come across Kim, she is a sensory perception and emotion management strategist.

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She hosts the Flavors of Emotions podcast and her new book is Yucky, Yummy, Savory, Sweet Understanding the Flavors of Emotions, which is all very magical and interesting, and we're going to get into a lot of that in the conversation.

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And today Kim has come on to talk about ideation, and before you ask me what on earth ideation means, I'm going to tell you where you can find Kim, which is at kimcourtycom, and we will tell you that again towards the end of the episode.

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So, Kim, thank you so much for coming on the show.

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It was such a pleasure to be here.

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Thank you for having me Excellent.

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Well, so I've got to say right off the bat, this word ideation came up in our conversation before, didn't it?

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And I was asking you about you?

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Know what is it about you?

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Something about you that's kind of unusual and kind of important to how you've flowed through your life and got to where you are today.

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And you spoke about ideation.

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Would you like to share with the listeners a little bit about what that actually is?

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what that actually is.

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Ideation is when you can take different concepts and put them together to form a new idea and to, kind of like, just be creative.

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I think in an intellectual way.

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I was with some friends of mine who are both artists, right, and I'm like, oh, I wish I could draw and paint and be like the two of you because they are so creative.

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And I'm like, oh, I wish I could draw and paint and be like the two of you because they are so creative.

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And they're like no, you're creative.

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And this is how I'm creative.

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I see issues, I see problems.

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I look at all of the pieces of it and I think, well, how can we take these pieces and reformulate them to come up with a solution?

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Or look at a bunch of disparate ideas and pull them together to say, oh here, look at this.

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This is something that I created, using things from other people, to have a new approach, and, in this case, a new approach to managing emotions.

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Right, okay, so I think you know, listening to that description of that, I wonder to myself how common or how rare that faculty actually is, and I think my first sense is probably not very common, that people are really good at that.

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I think most of us are more sort of well, there's an idea and there's another idea, and I like that idea or I don't like that other idea.

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It sounds like you're using ideas almost like painting a picture or something.

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You're sort of blending them together, working with them in a creative way.

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Is this something you've always been able to?

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do you know?

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It's kind of funny.

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I got the word when I took some test.

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I got strengths in a book I think it's called Strengths in Leadership, and in it, at the end of it, you take a test and it came up with this.

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Ideation was number one, and there was other parts of my personality that I see in myself, but I didn't have that word ideation before as a label for myself and I started thinking about, like well, I've done that before, like I've used it for solving business problems.

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We like way early because I have this very disparate mind.

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So I've got this creative side, but I have this very analytical.

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But I have this very analytical.

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I need process and procedures and I like to fix things with a process.

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It's basically what I like to do.

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I like to have a process and I like to fix them with the process.

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And I worked for this company.

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This was way back in the gosh, late 80s, early 90s and it was a company for real estate, and real estate has this process where you have to get reimbursed for expenses from the tenant based on certain calculations, and then you have monies that are due to you from your tenants.

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And they were like we have a problem where we need to figure out what is current receivable and what is owed to us from last year, just related to what's called recoveries, recoverable income.

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And so I saw this and I saw all the pieces of the problem and I said, oh, I can fix this and I created this.

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Well, today it would be called Excel.

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Back then it was Lotus 1-2-3, excel didn't exist and I created this process and automated it so that you could look at what a tenant, it would calculate what a tenant would owe, based on all their variables and income.

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And it calculated all of these factors.

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And my boss looked at me and she goes and here's a woman I'm not a CPA, none of that and she was like I could never have come up with that and I thought, wow, it just seemed so obvious to me and easy and I guess that it's just been a part of my personality my whole life is to kind of see these pieces and pull them together.

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Amazing, and there aren't any kind of obvious places that it came from, like your parents or your education or anything like that.

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It's just something that's just in you your education or anything like that.

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It's just something that's just in you.

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I do.

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I really honestly feel that this is just an innate part of who I am, my personality, just like people come up, total, total strangers will come up and tell me their problems.

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Like I will be on a plane and people will tell me things that they've never told anyone.

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So I think that is just something that you're born with.

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I don't think you necessarily develop that.

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I've always just been a good listener and good at giving feedback, and I just think it's part of who we are, and because I can't attribute it to any anything other than that.

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Yeah, how lovely.

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I mean it's great to have something positive like that that we just have within us, rather than have something in us that we hate, that we're trying to struggle with.

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You know that's Well, don't you think?

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We all have a little bit of some things that we don't like, because I can tell you there are some things I am stubborn as heck.

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My husband gives me a bad time about that, but I work on that.

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I wonder whether there's a connection.

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I mean, if you're very dexterous with ideas and good at looking at ideas and bringing them together and coming up with solutions, you know I could imagine you then not being necessarily somebody who is going to be pushed around by someone else's good idea, because you're somebody who comes up with really good combinations of ideas.

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You know you're creative, you know maybe, but I think that I would take ooh, I like that and see how it would blend in with what I'm doing, Right, yeah, yeah, I think in that instance, where I think my stubbornness comes in, is where I know I've got something and I keep at it doggedly.

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So what is the product?

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In my book is years.

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In my book is years.

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I tried desperately to walk away from this idea that I have this process that I created, and when I mean I really tried to, I couldn't.

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It's just like a part of my soul's journey.

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You might say that I have to get this information out, and so part of me has been stubbornly trying to push it through, because it takes a bit of stubbornness, even though you feel so strongly about it, to have the wherewithal.

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You have to be pretty stubborn.

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So you know, every ying has a yang, right.

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I'm stubborn and irritates my husband and I'm stubborn, and it got my book finished.

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I understand how fantastic.

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So I think you said a few minutes ago that your faculty with ideas is part of what helped you come up with this process, this whole way of looking at emotions.

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Would you like to share a little bit about that journey, that journey of this thing coming into being?

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Love to it probably started this is stubborn Kim coming out that I was going through an extremely painful divorce and it wasn't just the loss of a husband and a friend, because he was having an affair with someone who worked for us, with whom you know I loved her too, as a friend, and two businesses.

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So it was life-shattering, life-changing.

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And it was just the tipping point right Because I had had suffered from sexual abuse as a child.

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I had an alcoholic mother with whom I was extremely close, who had passed away.

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I had the loss of my faith in the religion of my youth.

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That was extremely devastating.

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And here I thought, like the death of my mom and the devastation of my faith, losing my faith, all happened around the same time that I had met my husband and I thought my husband was gonna be the first husband and I thought he was going to be the one.

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He was the one who was there for me, who truly loved me.

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And here he didn't.

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He didn't truly love me or he would never have hurt me like that.

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So here I am.

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What is love?

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Did I ever love?

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How do I recoup from this?

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And I literally was laying on the floor of my condo that I was packing up because I was leaving San Diego to San Francisco to get away from the situation.

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Eventually I came back to San Diego, but I spent 18 months living and working in San Francisco and trying to get my life back together.

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And it was when I came back to San Diego that I really put that energy to work, because I knew that when I got up from the floor I had to figure out a change.

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And the first 18 months I was just trying to survive emotionally in all kinds of ways.

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And then when I came back I saw that movie, the Secret, and I was like, okay, so there's something to this.

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And I went about trying to manage my thoughts and it wasn't enough, because I can still remember trying to manage how I felt about this woman who became my husband's lover.

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Let's just call her the bitch oh, that's a nice one.

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I had another one for her.

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I had another one.

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But so I was trying to overcome my thoughts about her and I realized I was gleeful when I saw she had gained a bunch of weight and I was like, okay, this whole thought thing is not really working out here, kim, this is not doing it.

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And I just pursued it, trying to better myself emotionally, pursued it like trying to better myself emotionally.

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And it was when I read this book how Emotions Are Made, the Secret Life of the Brain that it was like ta-da, I had the light bulbs going off.

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I mean.

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It was like my eyes had opened and I was seeing the world differently now.

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But, more important, I was seeing my emotions differently.

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And this theory of constructed emotions is what the book is about and it makes a thousand percent sense.

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It was so clear to me.

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It was like my vision.

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My vision just went to 2020, maybe even 2040.

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We experience our emotions as a construction by the brain.

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The brain is using incoming sensory input.

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So what we see, what we hear, what we touch, what we smell all of this sensory data, including how we feel inside of our bodies that's what it uses to create our emotional responses.

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And not emotions, just excuse me, and not emotions just like we think of, like love and hate and anger and bitterness and joy and satisfaction.

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It's the hunger and the thirst, puppies.

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It's the hunger and the thirst and the sleepiness and the feeling ill.

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Those are emotions too.

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And when we understand emotions for what they are, information and get over our fear of what the information is, then we are better able to manage our emotions, because that's what it is.

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It's just information, and we think that we see what we see, we hear what we hear.

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But those too are a prediction of the brain, just like our emotions.

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Our brain constructs what it is.

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We see what it is that we hear, so why wouldn't it construct what we feel?

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And we can get that wrong, and that, to me, was like one of the best things ever, because, wait, my brain constructs it and it can get it wrong, just like I could think.

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I see Bob over there and it's not Bob, it's a complete stranger.

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Because the brain constructed incorrectly.

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It's called a prediction error and that's a big fancy term, for, yeah, your brain can get it wrong is to help people understand that our perceptions and how we focus our perceptions makes all the difference in our emotional and physical well-being, and they're like ingredients that the brain uses and our past, our recipes that it uses to know how to construct it, because it's got to use something, so it uses our past, and so we could be cooking things that aren't necessarily healthy just because that's how we've always cooked.

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Yes, yes, yes.

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That makes sense.

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So this must have made quite a big difference to you in your life, having this realization.

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Tremendous, tremendous, I it.

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You know I my new favorite word is agency, and that that our whole ability to have control.

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You know we we're limited in how much control that we can have.

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We like to think we're in control, but we're really subjected to the whims of the brain, the state of the physical body, some things that we might not have any control over.

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And so what we can control is being more mindful of our perceptions and really, if you think about, our bodies are really kind of like a machine, always going back to what it knows how to do, and like it knows that, within this framework based on the environment, within this framework, we need this much water in our body, and so that's when we have thirst.

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We know that, you know, based on how we were raised, this is how we believe, so this is how we respond to the world.

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What makes us different is consciousness, our ability to be conscious of who we are, what's going on, and to change our perceptive views, to listen more intently, to get our perceptions more correct not perfect, but more correct and challenge our beliefs and what I call our recipes for how we've behaved.

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And wow, what a difference that makes.

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And you think it would take you a long time to do, but after you get in the habit it's just like oh wait, what is this feeling and why am I feeling this way?

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Why am I responding this way?

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And it's made a gigantic difference, wow.

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Well, so you've bounced right back, clearly, because you're now in a second marriage and fabulous and good energy and everything else.

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So clearly this has really really helped you in your life.

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What was the path like from that realization to actually then having something that you could offer out in the world for people?

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having something that you could offer out in the world for people.

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I'll be honest here I'm a bit of a perfectionist and I kept waiting for me to have the perfect product, so it took me a long time to get my book out, which just came out in January.

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So it's still a baby and I'm actually going to do a lighter version of it and it's going to be a second book and it's very fulfilling and it brings me such joy and I think about how it could make a difference in somebody else's life, like it has mine, and not only to be able to identify your emotions better, but to connect to them more deeply.

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People would say who know me oh, I don't believe this, but my connection to love is very, very different than it was before, very, very different than it was before.

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It has expanded and grown and deepened and I feel love in different ways because we experience a similar emotion, just like we can have something that's sweet, like love, and you have different flavors of it.

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And I've been able to expand my palette, emotional palette for love, and that was a big thing because of the sexual abuse, because of being hurt so badly, because of various disappointments in life with love and not getting what I thought love meant.

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Love and not getting what I thought love meant.

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And that's really really the key is understanding what love means to you, which is essentially what has to happen, what sensory input is required for you to feel, in this case, love.

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But it's, with every emotion, it's what is going on on the outside that makes you feel this way, and it's not other people who make you feel that way.

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It's your recipe.

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So if I don't like how I'm feeling in a situation, it's up to me to decide do I want to feel this or do I want to rework that recipe so that I feel differently?

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Or sometimes, you know it just calls for anger, but sometimes it doesn't.

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And it's that ability to, I guess, examine it almost like from the outside, by looking more outwardly at what's going on and examining like, hmm, this has really nothing to do with this situation, this has to do with me, and that, to me, has been so incredibly powerful.

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Yeah, wow.

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So do you feel that, um, by reading the book, people can actually take this information and start to put it into practice in their lives?

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Yes, and I am going to make this second book a little bit more about me.

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I have anecdotal stories in the book to talk about how that particular chapter is seen in my life, but I don't really go into my story as deeply as I will in the second book.

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Um, this book to me is more like a how-to book.

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Yeah, there's, there's pieces and parts of it that, like I said, are and all about me, but it's more about how I'm an ideator.

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I like the ideation, and here's the product of this ideation, based on what I've learned, and I'm so excited to share it with you because I think it could help you.

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And one of what I do is I take people through this process of understanding, first of all, how that brain works and how we experience the prediction of a brain and how the brain can get it wrong, because I feel like that's foundational right, like if you don't understand that, if you don't know that, well then, boy, none of this is going to make a lot of sense or you're not going to be connected to it, you're not going to buy into it.

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So, just by knowing that this is how your brain works and giving you examples of it, not just that it predicts, but that it focuses, and so it's like narrowing your view by having certain emotions, and being able to step back and get more of the view is very important.

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So I go into that and then I take people into a sensory system that a lot of us are not aware of, and it's called interoception, but really what it is is how we connect our sensory system to our awareness, and so when we have our um, our sensory system being um excuse me, I'm going to start that over.

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I'm going to shut my door by sensory system?

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Um, I'll ask this question while you're shutting the door.

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Yes, because my husband's on the phone.

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Okay, so by sensory system are you talking about our entire system for picking up sensations, as in visual and auditory and feeling and all of those things?

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Is that what you mean?

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Yes, sensory systems.

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We have an auditory system for how we see.

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We have a system for how we experience balance, proprioception, and there's a sensory system for touch.

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There's a sensory system for taste which is different from flavor.

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We have sensory systems is how we experience the world.

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Yeah.

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Smell, olfactory is what it's called.

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So this sensory system that we have inside of our body is called interoception, and so, if you think about it, it's the interior, how we feel the interior, how we experience the interior of our body, it's how we catch Like feeling fluttering in the belly or feeling tension in the buttocks or something you know, feeling those internal feelings.

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Yes, yes, and then all of these other things like hearing, seeing, smelling that is all coming from the exterior, or extoception.

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So we've got this one system that tells us how we feel and we can tamp that down so we can experience less of it.

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Just because it's uncomfortable For me, I would push down feelings around drinking because my mom, I couldn't see in my mind or allow those feelings about having an alcoholic mother or the things going on in my house.

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I would not look at it in my mind, and when I say that I mean connect to the feelings that are created from it.

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So you tried to suppress the feelings you mean.

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Oh, yes, I suppressed a lot of feelings and they came out in full force because the body just couldn't take it anymore, which happens to a lot of people who were sexually abused as a young child.

00:26:39.326 --> 00:26:52.541
They suppress everything until they get older and then it kind of comes out in a floodgate, and that's what happened to me.

00:26:52.541 --> 00:27:04.923
But suppression of those feelings, or the feelings that come with those memories, is suppressing a lot of feelings, like a lot of them.

00:27:04.923 --> 00:27:33.306
And because it's one system, right, so you might not respond to hunger and pain or you might mistake different pains in your body that your body's trying to let out, like the things that it needs to let out emotionally, and we're feeling it in different parts of our body and we're going to the doctor for it instead of going to a therapist.

00:27:33.306 --> 00:27:54.101
And that was me and I was like I said, I let it all out, but I never knew that that was a sensory system and that we can connect better to our emotions, our feelings inside of our body.

00:27:55.422 --> 00:27:59.664
And I use in my book the concept of flavor.

00:27:59.664 --> 00:28:17.556
That's why I said earlier, flavor's different Flavor is a combination of what you see, because everyone knows, after COVID, smell has a huge impact in your flavors, right, like how you experience flavor.

00:28:17.556 --> 00:28:20.617
But what we see does even what we hear.

00:28:20.617 --> 00:28:36.371
There's things that have been studied to say that, like the music that is playing can influence your experience of flavor, and so it's a multi-sensory experience flavor and so are our emotions.

00:28:36.371 --> 00:28:57.775
We're using not just interceptive signals, but we're using all of the external signals that the brain is getting, and the reason is and I think this is what is really critical to remember is that what is a memory that your brain stores.

00:29:02.700 --> 00:29:03.541
What is a memory that your brain stores?

00:29:03.541 --> 00:29:07.409
It's the combination of what's going on in the outside world, right, and what's going on on our inside world.

00:29:07.409 --> 00:29:18.325
So we remember who was there, what was going on, what you heard, the music that was playing, all of these things that get stored in our memory and how we felt at the time.

00:29:18.325 --> 00:29:19.446
Yeah, yeah.

00:29:19.446 --> 00:29:34.368
And so that's what gets pulled back in, and so if we pushed them down and it's trying to come out and we won't let that memory out, it, it gets louder and louder, just like hunger pains get louder and louder, yeah.

00:29:34.589 --> 00:29:40.382
Yeah, and it also skews the way we perceive what's actually happening in the present Exactly.

00:29:41.305 --> 00:29:42.107
Yes, you've got it.

00:29:42.421 --> 00:29:44.627
This idea of flavors is very intriguing.

00:29:44.627 --> 00:29:54.693
So how can somebody use that notion of flavors to help them with their emotional situation or their emotional management?

00:30:03.960 --> 00:30:06.724
Well, I actually have exercises in the book where I talk about how to connect to this interoceptive system.

00:30:06.724 --> 00:30:15.566
And just even taking a bite of food and noticing the different flavors, like getting in the habit of saying, okay, I taste this.

00:30:15.566 --> 00:30:25.507
I taste that it's creamy versus a liquid, it's a little bit more viscous or it's got a little too much salt for me.

00:30:25.507 --> 00:30:27.330
I notice the sugar.

00:30:27.330 --> 00:30:35.807
See if you can notice the texture, all of these little things that play into your experience of food.

00:30:35.807 --> 00:30:39.772
And this is just to get you started.

00:30:39.772 --> 00:30:52.904
And then noticing how you feel in your body after you eat, because we all we might feel satisfied or we might feel a little bit queasy because the food was too rich.

00:30:52.904 --> 00:31:31.392
Or just noticing what is going on in your physical experience inside of your body, just paying attention and then taking that and moving it to, and this all depends right, like on where you're at, with noticing your what I call interceptive awareness, or noticing how your body feels, and then maybe, you know, get to a point where during the day you just notice like, hmm, what does my head feel, like what is my arm and my hands Just noticing at any point in the day, like what does my body feel like they try and do this as a test.

00:31:31.392 --> 00:31:55.538
It's certainly not definitive, but to just sit still and pay attention to your heart, see how many times you feel it beat, and then do it again, but this time take your pulse and count how many times you feel it beat and it gives you kind of like an idea of how connected you are to it.

00:31:55.538 --> 00:32:03.442
And I've gotten so like right now I'm talking to you, but I can still notice my heartbeat.

00:32:03.442 --> 00:32:23.000
I can notice it and it's because I've worked on my interceptive awareness, and so this is part of that connecting to the body and then moving it to okay, you're in a situation and how did you feel?

00:32:23.583 --> 00:32:24.685
What was going on?

00:32:24.685 --> 00:32:27.213
Was there anything that you missed?

00:32:27.213 --> 00:32:31.625
Talking to other people, even in a situation, did I miss anything?

00:32:31.625 --> 00:32:33.008
What was going on?

00:32:33.008 --> 00:32:42.660
Trying to get more of the perceptive inputs in, to see was your feeling at this time correct for the situation?

00:32:42.660 --> 00:33:02.476
And challenging that feeling, challenging your beliefs about what was going on, and seeing if you can change your emotion, recipe for that experience, and trying to expand it that way, because it's really an awareness tool.

00:33:02.476 --> 00:33:16.486
Like I said, consciousness is what changes us, being aware of ourselves and others and recognizing that it's our response to the situation.

00:33:16.486 --> 00:33:19.230
They didn't make you feel any way.

00:33:19.651 --> 00:33:23.963
You did so only you can change it, I get it, I get it.

00:33:23.963 --> 00:33:41.892
So it's a bit like it's a way of you're giving people an assistance with becoming more aware of all of these sensations by giving them a kind of a way of describing it.

00:33:41.892 --> 00:33:52.442
That's more objective, because when you talk about flavors, that's very different from saying tell me what you're feeling.

00:33:52.442 --> 00:33:58.490
You know saying to somebody describe the flavor of what you're feeling.

00:33:58.490 --> 00:34:01.673
Is it yucky, yummy, savory or sweet?

00:34:01.713 --> 00:34:11.405
That's a way of kind of lifting out of our preconception about how you talk about these things and interpret them and give importance to them.

00:34:11.405 --> 00:34:13.610
And it's also quite playful.

00:34:13.610 --> 00:34:21.239
I like that, that sort of playful aspect to it, as in you know, it's possible to play with this as well.

00:34:22.465 --> 00:34:23.268
It is oh totally.

00:34:23.480 --> 00:34:27.351
A lot of people think the whole thing about emotions is you know very, very, very.

00:34:27.760 --> 00:34:28.983
You know very serious.

00:34:29.443 --> 00:34:31.327
You've got to be really earnest all the time.

00:34:31.327 --> 00:34:35.882
But actually that that isn't what you're saying at all.

00:34:35.882 --> 00:34:37.804
You saying something completely different from that, aren't you?

00:34:38.804 --> 00:34:52.784
yes, I am saying you know, play with the recipes, because you, your experiences in the past are your recipes for the future.

00:34:52.784 --> 00:35:11.862
And and the future could be in two seconds or less than a second and you have the ability to examine what are the ingredients, what is going on around you that created this and does it really taste that way?

00:35:11.862 --> 00:35:14.090
Is it distasteful?

00:35:14.090 --> 00:35:18.436
It might not be, but we predicted it.

00:35:18.436 --> 00:35:19.257
It's just.

00:35:19.257 --> 00:35:20.958
I'm going to go back to the whole thing.

00:35:20.958 --> 00:35:22.681
You thought you saw Bob.

00:35:22.681 --> 00:35:25.163
It wasn't Bob, it was a stranger.

00:35:25.163 --> 00:35:27.704
Is that emotionally distressing to you?

00:35:27.704 --> 00:35:29.166
No, you made a mistake.

00:35:29.166 --> 00:35:31.746
You can do the same thing with your emotions.

00:35:31.746 --> 00:35:33.588
You can make a mistake.

00:35:33.688 --> 00:35:49.467
You can be reliant on your brain to get it right and not ever question it, and especially when it's really important at work, you know, in a relationship, in you know well everywhere.

00:35:49.467 --> 00:35:50.550
What am I saying?

00:35:50.550 --> 00:35:52.436
It matters everywhere.

00:35:52.436 --> 00:36:19.728
And when you have that flexibility, that ability to pivot and say, ooh, all of a sudden, now you're cooking with steam, you're noticing and you're retraining the brain, you're directing the brain, almost like the owner of a restaurant and that chef works for you and all the chefs in the kitchen work for you.

00:36:19.728 --> 00:36:37.579
So if you think of your neurons as a bunch of little chefs and they work for you and it's up to you to tell them how you want to feel and it's up to you to listen when they say hey, there's something wrong in your belly.

00:36:37.579 --> 00:36:42.586
We're sending you signals that your belly is in distress.

00:36:43.148 --> 00:36:55.385
And it's up to you to pay attention, to say, oh, because as the chef owner, you need to keep all of your equipment in good working order and, for instance, your gut is critical to the brain.

00:36:55.385 --> 00:37:16.762
It is critical that microbiome, that in fact I just read an article everyone's paying so much attention to the gut microbiome and now they're finding that those same microbes play a very important part in the brain's microbiome and that it actually has one.

00:37:16.762 --> 00:37:22.416
And so we have like our whole body is really a microbiome and we're trying to get the balance.

00:37:22.416 --> 00:37:27.226
So you know, paying attention is critical.

00:37:27.226 --> 00:37:42.409
And if you're like my dad and you just say, oh, it hurts, but I'm not going to pay attention, you're missing some critical information, not only about your emotional well-being but also about your physical well-being.

00:37:43.195 --> 00:37:48.784
And so if you learn anything today, it's that feelings aren't facts.

00:37:48.784 --> 00:38:12.030
And if we can listen to see what the facts are and be able to distinguish those upset stomachs from anger and be able to distinguish a situation where let's just say we were mad, you know, let's just talk about racism.

00:38:12.030 --> 00:38:31.175
If a person's Black, well then every Black person, or if they're Chinese, or if they're whatever we attribute some, we should say we'll attribute what their feelings are towards every single person of that race or religion or coloring or whatever.

00:38:31.175 --> 00:38:33.260
And that's not the case.

00:38:33.260 --> 00:38:57.454
We all know that not every pasta tastes the same, not every sauce tastes the same, and so learning to be able to look at a situation with more distinction and more detail is what gives us what's called emotional granularity, or the ability to distinguish our feelings in different situations in different states.

00:38:58.414 --> 00:38:58.655
Amazing.

00:38:58.655 --> 00:39:03.519
It sounds very empowering and liberating actually as you talk about states Amazing, so it sounds very empowering and liberating actually as you talk about it.

00:39:04.501 --> 00:39:08.798
Yes, yes, because you're not a slave to how you were brought up.

00:39:08.798 --> 00:39:11.704
You're not a slave to the world's whims.

00:39:11.704 --> 00:39:16.721
Because what we use, we lose all independence of thought.

00:39:16.721 --> 00:39:19.606
I hear these people like oh, I'm a free thinker.

00:39:19.606 --> 00:39:23.682
No, I'm sorry, you're just regurgitating things that you've heard.

00:39:23.682 --> 00:39:25.427
And have you gotten the full picture?

00:39:25.427 --> 00:39:35.018
Have you listened to the opposition's side with an open mind, with the idea of what ingredients am I missing?

00:39:35.018 --> 00:39:37.125
Why do they believe the way that they believe?

00:39:38.217 --> 00:39:38.438
Yeah, yeah.

00:39:38.719 --> 00:39:39.202
Amazing.

00:39:39.885 --> 00:39:41.617
Well, we could talk about this for a long time.

00:39:41.617 --> 00:39:43.762
We're not going to do that today.

00:39:43.762 --> 00:39:47.342
Well, we have talked for a while, but you know, I think I'm sorry if I talk too much.

00:39:47.342 --> 00:40:01.590
No, no, no, no, you know, for me it's in conversations with people like you, kim, it's always really hard not to keep talking for hours because it's so fascinating and, as you said, you were called to do this.

00:40:01.590 --> 00:40:19.945
This was like a soul mission for you to do this, and I really get that in your passion and the way you talk about it and the lightness and the warmth in the way you talk about it, which also is really refreshing, and I think this model you've come up with is so fun, really fun.

00:40:19.945 --> 00:40:23.050
So I'm just going to remind people get Kim's book.

00:40:23.050 --> 00:40:34.726
It's called Yucky, yummy, savory, sweet, understanding the Flavors of Emotions, and will they get that on Amazon or will they get it from your website, amazon, amazon?

00:40:34.726 --> 00:40:36.235
Excellent, so I will put the Amazon link in the show notes.

00:40:36.235 --> 00:40:39.099
So I will put the Amazon link in the show notes.

00:40:39.902 --> 00:40:45.989
And I'm also putting recording the book and putting it on my podcast channel.

00:40:45.989 --> 00:41:02.126
So I've got, I think, the introduction and two chapters up, but I'm going through a process of putting the book out there and so people can listen and then I'm doing a podcast per chapter, just as a series right now.

00:41:02.126 --> 00:41:08.849
So I've got through chapter two, but the Flavors of Emotions is where you can listen to that.

00:41:09.875 --> 00:41:18.190
So get the book subscribe to Flavors of Emotions podcast and just really tune in.

00:41:18.190 --> 00:41:23.726
And are you also available to work with people and help them with this?

00:41:24.715 --> 00:41:34.157
Yes, I am, I'm trying to, but well, no, I'm not going to say trying, I am focused on trying to do more public speaking.

00:41:34.157 --> 00:42:06.900
Podcasting was a great way to dip my toe in the water and I really want to do a lot of public talks because I feel like getting the word out there, because I do feel like this is different and I do feel like this is easy to relate to, because you know, when you like food or don't like food, or when you've pre-predicted that you're not going to like something, you take a second taste and you're like, oh wait, maybe that's not so bad, and so we can make all of these relationships to food both fun and relatable.

00:42:06.900 --> 00:42:12.849
And that's really what I want to do is a lot of public speaking.

00:42:12.849 --> 00:42:20.365
I will take people on if they want to have a one-on-one session or two.

00:42:20.365 --> 00:42:27.561
I'm not the kind of coach where I would be doing time after time after time, but have a package.

00:42:28.222 --> 00:42:42.195
But if somebody wants some help in a certain area, I'm going to first say, read the book, because that's what we're going to talk about, and then we can kind of go through like ways that they can help them.

00:42:42.195 --> 00:42:43.458
I could help them.

00:42:43.458 --> 00:42:47.871
I'm also going to be starting a community.

00:42:47.871 --> 00:42:59.603
I haven't decided which platform yet to build the community on, but that's the next step, and then there I will have like people can join in.

00:42:59.603 --> 00:43:20.141
We'll have like an open discussion, because one person's question is probably valuable to a bunch of people, and then that way I can help as many people as possible that find this beneficial, fantastic, and if people go to your website, will they be able to find information about all these different things on there?

00:43:21.135 --> 00:43:23.099
Well, I'm still working on the community.

00:43:23.099 --> 00:43:45.686
So if they want to connect with me on Instagram, LinkedIn those are the two that are most active I'm starting to do a little bit more on TikTok or they can connect with me on my website, because I want to take down that website and have it just be, like I said, a community website.

00:43:45.686 --> 00:43:55.226
So, if they connect with me on my website too, subscribe and they will get information about the community Fantastic.

00:43:55.556 --> 00:43:56.902
Wow, how exciting.

00:43:56.902 --> 00:43:58.342
I think this is really really exciting, thank you.

00:43:58.342 --> 00:44:00.094
The next question I want to think this is really really exciting, thank you.

00:44:00.594 --> 00:44:08.900
The next question I want to ask you is really for leaders, because there's an awful lot of things going on in the world at the moment.

00:44:08.900 --> 00:44:22.070
I think we can agree, and everyone's got different points of view about what is happening, what should be happening, what shouldn't be happening, what should be done about it, what shouldn't be happening, what should be done about it.

00:44:22.070 --> 00:44:33.371
And, against that backdrop, there are a lot of people in leadership positions of different sorts and also a lot of people trying to be leaders in their own lives.

00:44:33.371 --> 00:44:36.798
You said agency people trying to have agency in their own lives and be good leaders to other people.

00:44:36.798 --> 00:44:50.041
And this podcast tends to attract these sorts of people, the people who are trying to be part of the solution and who are interested in learning and growing and expanding their contribution.

00:44:50.041 --> 00:44:58.327
So, in relationship to some of what we've been talking about today, is there something you'd like to say to these people?

00:44:58.355 --> 00:45:02.612
Is there something you'd like to say to these people?

00:45:02.612 --> 00:45:10.458
The fallback on our beliefs is a very comfortable and easy route and I understand that.

00:45:10.458 --> 00:45:36.541
If you feel something in your body very, very strongly, those to me are the ones, the real strong moments to say what is the other side of this feeling, what is the opposing side to this feeling?

00:45:36.541 --> 00:45:47.760
Because when we're really, really strong in our feeling, often we are so focused on that strong in our feeling, often we are so focused on that that we miss the more important details that could be available to us.

00:45:47.760 --> 00:45:55.795
So that connection to that ability to do that to me is the sign of a great leader.

00:45:55.795 --> 00:46:04.190
It bothers me to no end, to no end when they bring up, especially in politics.

00:46:04.190 --> 00:46:06.137
Oh, they believe, you know.

00:46:06.137 --> 00:46:15.077
They said back in 2000 that this was how they believed and this is what they wanted, and allow no opportunity for change.

00:46:15.077 --> 00:46:25.382
A true leader changes their viewpoint with information, will grow, eating baby food for the rest of your life.

00:46:25.382 --> 00:46:49.385
You've not challenged your palate at all.

00:46:49.385 --> 00:46:55.141
You're emotionally still a child.

00:46:55.202 --> 00:47:20.731
Here is to have experience, to grow, to find ourselves and to know what we really want, what we don't want, and to be more conscious of our experiences and to be active in creating them too, and that is why I feel like a book of this nature is really important, because it's taking us beyond challenging our thoughts.

00:47:20.731 --> 00:47:38.387
It's challenging our perceptions and how we put them together, how we construct them, because that's the key Our thoughts are a product of our emotions more than our emotions are a product of our thoughts.

00:47:38.387 --> 00:47:43.137
Our emotions, more than our emotions, are a product of our thoughts.

00:47:43.137 --> 00:47:46.846
That's why perception and emotion management, to me, is much a stronger force for change than thought management.

00:47:46.846 --> 00:47:55.108
Thoughts come into play, but the initial driver is going to be emotions, and those are product of perceptions.

00:47:56.054 --> 00:48:04.458
Yeah, because you are focusing on a relationship between two systems and it's that relationship that is where the power is.

00:48:04.458 --> 00:48:07.940
Yeah, I love that about.

00:48:07.940 --> 00:48:10.942
Otherwise, you're just eating baby food for your entire life.

00:48:10.942 --> 00:48:13.023
I thought I'm going to use that.

00:48:13.023 --> 00:48:15.405
I've got to use that because that's just so perfect.

00:48:15.405 --> 00:48:16.565
It's absolutely right.

00:48:17.146 --> 00:48:18.905
Perfect, it's absolutely right, it's true, right, like.

00:48:18.905 --> 00:48:26.489
Come on, like your taste buds grow, why wouldn't your emotional palate grow?

00:48:26.911 --> 00:48:27.391
Exactly.

00:48:27.391 --> 00:48:30.231
And also, do you want to actually use your teeth or?

00:48:30.251 --> 00:48:30.592
do you want?

00:48:30.731 --> 00:48:31.932
to be sucking it down.

00:48:35.115 --> 00:48:36.079
I love that, so can I use that?

00:48:36.079 --> 00:48:37.844
Of course you can Feel free Put it in the book.

00:48:37.844 --> 00:48:40.762
Yes, book number three.

00:48:40.762 --> 00:48:42.697
I'll put it in Book number three.

00:48:42.737 --> 00:48:44.663
I love that, Kim.

00:48:44.663 --> 00:48:55.550
We've talked about quite a lot today and the flavor of it for me has been sweet and savory, which I've really enjoyed.

00:48:55.550 --> 00:49:00.646
And has there been for you a favorite part of our conversation today?

00:49:02.695 --> 00:49:08.148
Well, I think right now I have to go back to how that use of the teeth that was fabulous.

00:49:08.148 --> 00:49:24.416
I just think that the freedom to speak you're such a great, lovely, insightful host and that to me is the favorite part.

00:49:24.416 --> 00:49:36.998
I love it when you have a connection to the host and they're so engaging and thoughtful and paying attention, and so I would say that that's the favorite part.

00:49:36.998 --> 00:49:56.186
But my favorite part absolutely will be if I made one change in how someone leads others, whether that be their children, whom they manage, an entire organization or an entire country.

00:49:56.186 --> 00:50:08.532
I mean, if I could make one small change that makes them more aware and a little bit more engaged in their emotional experiences.

00:50:08.532 --> 00:50:17.407
That to me, is the best, Because just helping one person to me is everything.

00:50:17.788 --> 00:50:18.309
Absolutely.

00:50:18.309 --> 00:50:22.297
To me is everything Absolutely Well.

00:50:22.297 --> 00:50:33.204
In that case, you'll like this last question I'm going to ask you, which is is there a reflection question that you would like to leave our listeners with for them to reflect on across the coming week?

00:50:33.204 --> 00:50:36.679
That will help them connect with some of what we've been talking about today.

00:50:38.684 --> 00:50:44.157
Become the eternal three-year-old who's always asking why.

00:50:44.157 --> 00:50:56.701
And if you can question why you're feeling some way rather than just believing it, then you will be able to say is this true?

00:50:56.701 --> 00:50:58.864
Is what I'm feeling true?

00:51:00.045 --> 00:51:02.909
Thank you, Wonderful, Wonderful.

00:51:02.909 --> 00:51:07.346
Well, I can't think of anybody who wouldn't get value from doing that, including myself.

00:51:07.346 --> 00:51:10.260
So thank you so much, Kim Corte.

00:51:10.260 --> 00:51:12.184
This has been such a pleasure.

00:51:12.184 --> 00:51:13.146
Everybody.

00:51:13.146 --> 00:51:21.507
You can find Kim at kimcortecom, buy her book, check out her podcast and watch this space.

00:51:21.507 --> 00:51:22.730
Thank you, Kim, so much.

00:51:24.574 --> 00:51:26.181
Thank you, it was such a pleasure.

00:51:31.456 --> 00:51:40.447
Thank you for listening to Truth and Transcendence and thank you for supporting the show by rating, reviewing, subscribing, buying me a coffee and telling a friend.

00:51:40.447 --> 00:51:51.826
If you'd like to know more about my work, you can find out about transformational coaching, pellewa and the Freedom of Spirit workshop on beingspaceworld.

00:51:51.826 --> 00:51:55.523
Have a wonderful week and I'll see you next time.

Ep 188: Kim Korte ~ The Flavours of Emotions

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