Ep 172: Richard Walsh ~ Grit, Endurance & Finding Peace

Transcript

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Truth and Transcendence, brought to you by being Space with Catherine Llewellyn.

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Truth and Transcendence, episode 172, with special guest Richard Walsh.

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Now, richard is quite a dynamic character.

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He's a US Marine champion, boxer, best-selling author of Escape the Owner Prison, a steel sculptor, a business coach, mentor and so much more.

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He has the quality we're going to be talking about today, which is grit.

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And right off the bat, I'm going to let you know where you can find Richard, which is at sharpenthespearcoachingcom, which is such a fantastic name.

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It gives some sort of sense of his approach.

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So I think our theme of grit is really important at the moment, as individuals and businesses are facing significant challenges.

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I mean, that's always true as humans, but at the moment, in our troubled economies, our volatile markets, no one knows what's going to happen.

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A certain amount of grit is required just to kind of make things work.

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So, richard, thank you so much for coming on.

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Truth and Transcendence.

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Well, thank you, Catherine.

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I'm excited to be here.

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This is awesome.

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I appreciate you having me.

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Well, I couldn't not.

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I thought this guy's energy is just so amazing.

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This guy's energy is just so amazing.

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Um so um.

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Richard, would you lead us in by sharing?

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When did you first connect with this notion of grit?

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Can you remember your first, um, kind of moment of realizing that this was something that mattered to you?

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yes, interesting, katherine, because I, I think you know one thing I know is like, you're actually not like born with grit, right, I think you, I know you can strengthen it, you can develop it.

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But something in my we'll call it background, right, and I can go on to the childhood stories and stuff.

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But as I grew, I got older and the things I started doing were all very individual, right.

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So individual sports.

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I wasn't like a team sport guy.

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I like ran cross country, I'm a boxer, I'm a black belt Stuff.

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That only it's me and one opponent, right, so it's that Two men enter, one man leaves, so it's that kind of stuff.

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So in that case, well, in boxing, I would like the guy to be asleep when I finish.

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Okay, I want to put him to sleep, okay, at least momentarily.

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But you know, through the Marine Corps, you know I'm in the Marine Corps, I do this and it's all challenging, it's all suffering.

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So what I learned, like, when I look back now, I mean I've done stuff for a long, you know, decades and decades, but it's always been this, this pursuit of suffering, which is very odd, right, it's like and I don't specifically know what that is, but it just kind of how I, as I matured and grew, I would challenge myself and push myself harder and I really enjoyed the process.

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Like, take boxing, like you have, you train every day.

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So I train six days a week.

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I get in the ring, I spar, I do, you know, I work out hard hours, I run in the morning and then there's the fight.

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Right, you have the actual fight where you have sanctioned fight and you get to ring in the crowd.

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I didn't care about the fight, I love the training.

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I got in, I fought, I'm a champion.

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I did that, but that wasn't my goal.

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It's really odd.

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It's like I want to just suffer daily.

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It's very odd and I still do it today.

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I mean, my workouts are extremely hard and I love it.

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I still hit the bag, I do all this stuff, but I think the suffering aspect I'm just tying that into the grip because I had to persevere, I had to get to the end, I had to complete the challenge, whatever that took.

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And in a lot of things you have this self-awareness that there's more in you, that you have to keep going because it's not good enough.

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And I know some people take that in the negative.

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I kind take it as a positive, like I can be better and I'll use podcasts as an example and people think I'm strange.

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My wife thinks I'm odd.

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I listen to every episode that I've been on and I've been on 75 podcasts in the last few months.

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Okay, I, I listened to them because I want to learn, I want to be better.

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Yeah, what did I do?

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Why did I say that?

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There's times like maybe I shouldn't say that.

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Right, so there's things, but that's just kind of my makeup.

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And from the grit standpoint, catherine, I think my whole evolution of adulthood and achievement and success and failure has been to push through.

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So I just I guess no way to put it I'm too dumb to quit.

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Okay, I just don't know, I'm just not that, but I, that's where the reward is, yeah, and I, I think they've and what's to say, the book itself, grit.

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I think angela duckworth made this book great research book.

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The real great people, the great greats.

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It's because they persevered, it's not because they're smart, it's not because they have money, it's none of that stuff.

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It's literally that inside drive towards achievement, whatever it takes to stay in the game.

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So, I think that's where it is.

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Wow, I'm going to ask you to go a little bit more into what you mean by the word suffering, because I think that's a word that people understand in many different ways and experience in many different ways.

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But when you use that word, it sounds like you've got a very particular meaning for that.

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You're not talking about cutting yourself and stuff like that, are you?

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You're talking about something a bit more wholesome than that.

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So can you explain to us a little bit more about what you mean by suffering?

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Yes, and that's good insight.

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I'm glad you brought that up.

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Yes, I'm not into self-harm.

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Okay, that's not it, I'm not Suffering for.

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One thing is the number one way to create bond with someone Shared suffering, just like if you're in combat and have brothers in arms.

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Okay, those are lifetime friendships, right, because of the level of suffering that you've had to endure, right?

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So when I look at suffering, it's a method, okay.

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So as we push through suffering, it's like doing hard things Maybe that's an easier way to say it Doing hard things.

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Okay, because we get really comfortable.

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This day and age, you can be as comfortable, especially here in America.

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Like there's no, no one's uncomfortable, nobody.

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Okay, whatever level, it's still comfort compared to a lot of other places in the world.

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Like they, would, you know, love to have the, the littlest bit that we have, right, so we understand that.

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So there's this, there's this attraction towards discomfort.

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That's the suffering.

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You want to go.

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Well, I could just be here and I'm making good money and I'm helping people, but then what Is this all there is?

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I think the suffering is giving of yourself, to a point where you might even think you're not going to succeed.

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You're at that wall, you're climbing the highest wall or swimming the largest body of water, whatever that is.

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I really think that the completion of that task is the joy or the endorphins, or however you want to put it from a psychological standpoint.

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Yeah, you know I'm going to do that extra weight.

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Yeah, so I'm, I'm going to.

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Well, I'm a little competitive, so I'm going to do more than you.

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Yeah, okay, I'm going to go harder, cause I'm going to get to the other side.

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People have fallen off.

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My son is in the Marine Corps now and there's people that drop out all the time 10 guys, 20 guys, this guy they won't go up the hill, they won't get to the top, they won't push through, they won't suffer, they won't carry 120 pounds on their back.

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So when those people drop, he had to take their weight and carry it.

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They literally divide the people who drop out.

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They divide their stuff and other guys have to carry it.

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That's enduring more suffering.

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This guy quit.

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Now.

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I have to take his load now.

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I have to do it because I am getting to the top right.

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So it's, I think, does that kind of explain it.

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thank you, that's and that's.

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Uh, it's interesting because when we use these words, words that only mean that they're a little bit like a signpost to an experience.

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But the way you just described that there kind of got inside the experience a bit, which I thought was really really helpful.

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It just reminded me of something there was a class I used to go to called Body Pump, and I don't know if they have it.

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Do they have it over there?

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Yeah, yes.

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And you know we all be there in our sort of spandex and you know we were all quite fit and throughout this class we were doing all these different exercises but with weights, often on bars, and every now and again there was an opportunity to put up your weights from last time.

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You know, put up your weights from last time, and every time you did that it hurt a bit more, but there was that joy of competing, with yourself growing, and then afterwards everyone would grab a coffee or something.

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I noticed you put your weights up this time on the back press or whatever.

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Yeah, I felt ready, good for you.

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I think I'll try that next time.

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That whole sort of the words pain of growth came to me as well when you were talking that growth pains, like when people are adolescents and their bones are growing and everything's growing.

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It's painful, but it's growth You're not breaking, you're growing.

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And I loved what you said about and you might growth You're not breaking, you're growing.

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And I loved what you said about and you might even think you're not going to succeed and that's part of the suffering.

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I think that's very, very important.

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Yeah, I agree.

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I think that's a very good key right there.

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It's that will.

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I make it.

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That part we call it in the fitness industry time under tension.

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That's when you build more muscle you're breaking down muscle fiber so it can rebuild, grow, be stronger and better.

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So when you're adding that weight, that's additional time under tension.

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Right, there's more tension.

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Can you hold the weight longer?

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Can you put up more weight?

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When I'm working out in the heavy bag, I'm going very hard.

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Okay, I've maintained my skills.

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I mean, people don't talk to me in the gym, that's how hard.

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I'm a little bit of a savage in the corner, but every time it's like can you get nine rounds, three minute rounds, can you get to 10?

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Then get on the road and I'm like and I'm just and I'm always fighting an opponent.

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It's a heavy but it's an opponent.

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So my mind's out, shadow box for 10 rounds and move and work my footwork.

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It's against an opponent.

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So if you saw me, because all these treadmills, like by the track where I'm working out, and there's people that just look I remember my kids were there they go, Dad, like people are videotaping you and stuff.

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You know I go.

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It's okay.

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I say because that's as close as they're going to get to every doing this is a videotape of me.

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Okay, they're not going to do, because this is, I am soaked to my shorts with sweat working out and every shot is hard, multiple shots.

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So I'm just saying I'm like I do that for me.

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Can I throw two more shots?

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Can I throw?

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Can I do one more round?

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What does that look like?

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So, uh it, it.

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It's important, I think, for the, for the human psyche, to be able to do that.

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We have to test her and I'm not some neurotic nutcase, you know what I mean.

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That's always trying to just do more.

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Today, I mean, there's people like that, but it's just those, the subtleties of it.

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You know that understanding, there's so much more there and you can tap into yourself.

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You just want to pull that little bit more out.

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I think that's where it's at, yeah, yeah, I get it Fantastic.

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And of course, then you're fitter and stronger, which is good for your health and your longevity and everything else.

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And you've also strengthened your relationship with your own spirit spirit, really, haven't you?

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yeah, I think it's.

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I have a.

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I definitely have a warrior mentality.

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Okay, that's who I am.

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Remember one day I was getting done with the bag workout and there was this young kid on the on the treadmill.

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I turned he asked me are you training for a fight?

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Like I just think I'm gonna go, nope, just staying dangerous.

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And I walked away.

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He's was like oh, Like another kid, another young guy, I think he was 20.

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He asked me he goes, man, when was the last time you were in the ring?

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I looked at him and said before you were born.

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So that's these things.

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And I'm like that's what I want.

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I want that's part of it too.

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Right, there's a little ego in there, Catherine.

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There's a little ego that kind of yeah, I can still do this, it's good You're not frightened to mess with people's heads a little bit.

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No, no, it brings me joy.

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Well, it probably doesn't do them any harm either.

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Right, it's good there's a lot of people these days who just want to be nice.

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You know, at the cost, sometimes at the cost of just giving someone a little nudge, I think in the gym, because I've spent a lot of time in gyms myself as well.

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And there is that thing of okay in this space.

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It's okay for us to kind of front up to each other a little bit and just say, hey, you could just uh, you know how many pull-ups, yeah I call it.

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I'm a big fan of negative reinforcement.

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Okay, so I thrive on negative.

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It's like it's a marine corps thing, like if you know anyone in the brains, they're negative reinforcement people they've been.

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You can talk, smack to each other, you can beat them, but you know what I mean.

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You're that lifts you up.

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Right, that's a very tiny percentage of people.

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So I owned a gym and I had boot camp style training.

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I had really unique programs.

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Welcome to negative reinforcement.

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Okay, we had little four-person squads and we would talk some smack.

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Okay, I literally had a three-foot riding crop, a horse riding crop that I trained with and I'm like smacking things and I'll correct people.

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You know, get your butt down.

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I mean I was.

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I walked around just calling people out.

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I mean it's a lot of fun.

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You know.

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They know for that 35 minutes we're going to have us a good time and it's you are going to do what you never thought you could do before.

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Yes, you know and I love pulling that out of people business coaching as well it's the same thing You're going to do, what you never thought you could do, because no one's actually had the courage to push you and the confidence to do it.

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And that's what we all need.

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We all need that person who can just and for me again, don't be nice to me, like that's not going to help me grow.

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You know I like I'm a kindness over nice right grow.

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You know I like I'm a kindness over nice right there's a difference.

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So I'm a kind person, I'm probably not a nice person, yeah right, but you don't start doing it.

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If you just walk up to someone on the street, you're doing it in the context get on your face and start pushing.

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Yeah, I do that with them exactly because I also get you don't have this kind of compulsive energy about you.

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You know, I think some people imagine that people who have this kind of uh relationship with you know, call it grit, call it assertiveness, call it whatever you want to call it.

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But I think some people imagine that those people are compulsive.

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You know that they're trying to work something out by being aggressive with themselves, but you don't come across like that.

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You come across as um quite chilled actually yeah, it's, it's control, right.

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So you've, you know, I've spent whatever I have 35 years, you know boxing, hitting the bag, doing martial arts, business, growing, failing, succeeding.

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Eventually.

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You just got to be in control.

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You're just like I've been through everything, like what's the next thing?

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So, and?

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And a lot of people like you're saying katherine, a lot of people mix up well, you're just this aggressive guy who's got to fight.

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And no, I have skills, I'm in control and I'm a great dude.

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Hang off me, it's good, it's just like this, this is who I am.

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But if you go to that place you try to hurt my family or my, well, look, stand by.

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Okay, the warrior will be unleashed and it'll be the worst day you've ever had.

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Yeah.

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You know it's just how it is, but that I'm not.

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But I'm a nice guy.

00:16:58.390 --> 00:17:01.908
You know, like me I'm happy, I'm just on this, you know.

00:17:01.908 --> 00:17:16.511
So I think I think, from a grit standpoint to Catherine, you have to understand that the whole purpose of grit, the whole, you know, if you're in it it's you have a long, a long journey mindset.

00:17:16.511 --> 00:17:21.056
You understand there's no, there's no immediate gratification.

00:17:28.480 --> 00:17:33.415
I think that's another thing you kind of have to grasp that we are a world obsessed with immediate gratification.

00:17:33.415 --> 00:17:37.881
I agree, you know people want to be discovered, not developed.

00:17:37.881 --> 00:17:38.563
Yeah Right, they just poof.

00:17:38.563 --> 00:17:39.185
I'm somebody, you're nobody.

00:17:39.185 --> 00:17:40.691
Okay, and if you're going to be someone, come check back in 10 years.

00:17:40.711 --> 00:17:42.076
Yeah, you know when you put all this time in.

00:17:42.076 --> 00:17:46.909
So I think the grit aspect gives you a long journey mindset.

00:17:46.909 --> 00:17:49.855
You understand it's not tomorrow.

00:17:49.855 --> 00:17:59.207
You know you will get there and you'll get there in stages and you can look back every now and then and check you know what you've accomplished, but then turn right back and look forward again.

00:17:59.207 --> 00:18:02.321
So there's a lot of forward looking in a grit, someone with grit.

00:18:02.321 --> 00:18:08.926
And that because they can't, they cannot obsess on the past, like it's the old saying what have you done for me lately?

00:18:08.926 --> 00:18:10.491
That's part of grit.

00:18:10.491 --> 00:18:10.993
Like, how am I improving?

00:18:10.993 --> 00:18:12.137
What's the old saying what have you done for me lately?

00:18:12.137 --> 00:18:12.538
That's part of grit.

00:18:12.538 --> 00:18:13.260
Like, how am I improving?

00:18:13.260 --> 00:18:15.185
What's the little things I'm doing to make a difference?

00:18:15.626 --> 00:18:16.208
yeah, yeah.

00:18:16.208 --> 00:18:35.567
And do you think that um following following this path and this approach that you follow, do you do you think that makes a difference to someone's capacity for um letting go of that desire for immediate gratification or letting go of that need for comfort?

00:18:37.480 --> 00:18:49.665
Yeah, I think it does, because I think you realize if you truly have it or you're working on developing to be a more gritty person, to have greater perseverance, you have to put that stuff aside.

00:18:49.665 --> 00:18:53.942
You know, even something as simple as I hate the term dieting.

00:18:53.942 --> 00:18:57.769
Okay, you are denying yourself things.

00:18:57.769 --> 00:19:00.059
I'm going to deny myself the pie right now.

00:19:00.059 --> 00:19:01.303
I'm going to deny the sugar.

00:19:01.303 --> 00:19:08.085
I'm going to eat this food now because I have a result I'm looking to achieve and I can't get to it.

00:19:08.085 --> 00:19:08.325
This.

00:19:08.365 --> 00:19:12.993
So there's a lot of self-sacrifice in this process.

00:19:12.993 --> 00:19:30.646
You have to give up things Like I can't remember if we were on or not, but people aren't willing to not spend, not by the shoes, right, you were saying let's not do that, let's not do that right now and I can be a little caveman-ish on this Like I don't need anything, like I could go with nothing.

00:19:30.646 --> 00:19:34.126
This, like I don't need anything, like I could go with nothing.

00:19:34.126 --> 00:19:35.471
My wife goes you can just live in a cave, you don't care.

00:19:35.471 --> 00:19:35.972
Like you don't care.

00:19:35.972 --> 00:19:37.317
Like, well, I have goals, I have things.

00:19:37.376 --> 00:19:39.521
In my son actually my oldest is that way now too.

00:19:39.521 --> 00:19:42.708
His focus on achievement is absolutely.

00:19:42.708 --> 00:19:49.541
It inspires me what he wants to do in his focus and how he gets what he wants is like what well did you just?

00:19:49.541 --> 00:19:50.843
You impressed me.

00:19:50.843 --> 00:19:54.625
You know I'm really pleased with the way you've turned out.

00:19:54.625 --> 00:20:02.808
You know it's pretty amazing and I think I'm hoping it's from example, right, because more is caught than taught when you're raising kids, right?

00:20:02.808 --> 00:20:04.250
So they have to see what you do.

00:20:04.250 --> 00:20:09.393
You can tell them all these things and how they should be, but it's your actions.

00:20:09.393 --> 00:20:11.273
It's always about action, yeah.

00:20:11.993 --> 00:20:18.377
Well, also, it sounds like you're doing what you're doing because it's what you want to do, not because it's something that someone told you you should be doing.

00:20:23.079 --> 00:20:26.546
Yeah, I've never been really good at taking direction from people, so it's worked to my advantage.

00:20:26.546 --> 00:20:27.007
I had to.

00:20:27.007 --> 00:20:28.509
You know it was a little rough coming up.

00:20:28.509 --> 00:20:30.574
You know early school and all that.

00:20:31.842 --> 00:20:32.684
You know, I wasn't.

00:20:32.785 --> 00:20:33.749
I suffered then too.

00:20:33.749 --> 00:20:36.248
Okay, it's just a different kind of suffering, you know.

00:20:37.070 --> 00:20:40.869
but yeah, so, but I you're talking about, obviously, yeah, yeah, right, right.

00:20:40.940 --> 00:20:45.251
But I just I do make it work for me and I've seen people too on this same subject.

00:20:45.251 --> 00:20:53.663
I hit up one of my favorite clients ever that I had.

00:20:53.663 --> 00:20:54.806
He was a multi-billionaire, super successful guy, super ADD.

00:20:54.806 --> 00:20:59.460
You had three minutes to close the deal with this guy and we did this all the time.

00:20:59.460 --> 00:21:03.689
So I know I got it was Gary, gary, I got this, this, this.

00:21:03.689 --> 00:21:04.991
Okay, all right, let's do it.

00:21:04.991 --> 00:21:06.259
Well, let's not do it.

00:21:06.259 --> 00:21:07.422
Nah, I'm not going to do it, okay.

00:21:07.801 --> 00:21:09.063
And then off he but.

00:21:09.063 --> 00:21:11.425
And then he would just come by and pick me up.

00:21:11.425 --> 00:21:14.008
He'd come to my shops hey, man, take me to some of your work.

00:21:14.008 --> 00:21:18.512
Him and his wife, jumping in a Mercedes, cruise around, show him stuff Okay, great, seeing you.

00:21:18.512 --> 00:21:19.794
And he drives off.

00:21:20.815 --> 00:21:22.355
But a guy, but he mastered it.

00:21:22.355 --> 00:21:28.989
Right, I'm in one of the cars and he's on this.

00:21:28.989 --> 00:21:33.595
And then he's, he's got all these pairs of golf shoes, he's like, unloaded from his car.

00:21:33.595 --> 00:21:34.362
I'm like what's this?

00:21:34.362 --> 00:21:35.907
He's like oh, I designed them.

00:21:35.907 --> 00:21:37.442
I hit a mate, I'm giving them my clients.

00:21:37.442 --> 00:21:41.051
So he's designing golf shoes, of all things you know.

00:21:41.051 --> 00:21:45.522
I mean he owns professional sports teams and canvas business, all this stuff, and he's.

00:21:45.522 --> 00:21:53.109
But he's talking to Toyota and having designed special engines for his cars Cause he had like a hundred cars he collected all with 500 horsepower.

00:21:53.130 --> 00:21:56.833
I mean he got it, but he's all over the place, but he mastered it.

00:21:56.833 --> 00:21:59.955
Yeah Right, it wasn't a, it wasn't a, it wasn't.

00:21:59.955 --> 00:22:01.896
It wasn't a disability, it was.

00:22:01.896 --> 00:22:04.748
He made it work, yeah, self-made.

00:22:04.748 --> 00:22:05.390
I really amazed.

00:22:05.390 --> 00:22:13.343
So I, just for that, you know, I think, is why him and I connected so well.

00:22:13.343 --> 00:22:15.788
Yeah, you know, because he understood like we were both always pushing, always improving.

00:22:15.788 --> 00:22:16.931
Yeah, you know.

00:22:16.931 --> 00:22:17.371
So it's.

00:22:17.371 --> 00:22:25.833
It's, you see, that in people, you see those little elements in people, and that's how we begin to connect with people, I think too, like-mindedness, you know beautiful.

00:22:25.853 --> 00:22:29.683
Well, that illustrates exactly that thing we were talking about a few minutes ago, about you.

00:22:29.683 --> 00:22:34.893
You're not following the particular path because you're kind of driven to because of some sort of lack.

00:22:34.893 --> 00:22:58.669
You're doing it because it actually works for you, you love it, you're happy doing it, and I like to emphasize that because, particularly with themes like grit or perseverance, et cetera, people can assume that that is a contradiction to ideas like relaxation, peace, equanimity, all of all of those things.

00:22:58.669 --> 00:23:05.703
Well, actually, they're not a contradiction, they're just another aspect, aren't they, of being or being a full human.

00:23:07.068 --> 00:23:12.509
Yeah, I think everyone has like, like, everyone has their own definition of something, right?

00:23:12.509 --> 00:23:25.843
So if we look at taking vacations peace, relaxation, coming up until I was probably in my early 30s yeah, just over 30, I never took vacations.

00:23:25.843 --> 00:23:28.768
I didn't believe in them, I just worked.

00:23:28.768 --> 00:23:29.769
My joy came from working.

00:23:29.769 --> 00:23:31.894
I'm building a business, I'm doing all this stuff.

00:23:31.894 --> 00:23:41.209
And then, friend, I got around different people and he invited me hey, man, I got a place in Cabo San Lucas, let's go down to Mexico, let's hang out for a week.

00:23:41.209 --> 00:23:41.971
Man, you need a break.

00:23:41.971 --> 00:23:44.461
I don't need a break, man, I don't do vacations.

00:23:44.461 --> 00:23:46.005
So he talked me into it.

00:23:46.005 --> 00:23:51.192
I went down there, so we're on the beach, Cause it's just, you know, fishing, sea, kayak and do.

00:23:51.192 --> 00:23:53.935
I'm like that's like day five.

00:23:53.935 --> 00:23:56.388
I'm like this is amazing.

00:23:56.388 --> 00:24:00.569
I've never, like, I've never, dialed down ever.

00:24:00.569 --> 00:24:03.127
And I was like so, really great.

00:24:03.147 --> 00:24:03.348
Year.

00:24:03.348 --> 00:24:12.323
Second year, we went, I went this next year to lay back even more, and then, when it's time to check out, I was like I said I will leave, I go do it, lay back even more, and then it's time to check out.

00:24:12.323 --> 00:24:15.791
Like I said, really, I go, dude, I'm not leaving, I'm staying here, I'm just gonna stay here, I'm not leaving, he goes.

00:24:15.791 --> 00:24:34.551
Well, we'll check out late, I go, okay, but I don't, I still don't think I'm gonna leave, you know, and of course I left, but we definitely checked out late, but it was just that it took someone else who was very successful, right, and he showed me how, like is you just come and rest, like this is rest, like for him.

00:24:34.551 --> 00:24:40.970
You know, this is what we're doing, stuff and everything else I'm working out, and so that was just another level, right.

00:24:40.970 --> 00:24:43.627
So now, oh, I can be successful and I can have rest.

00:24:43.627 --> 00:24:46.080
You know, cause?

00:24:46.080 --> 00:24:50.887
He was a great example, because sometimes he would go on vacation and he'd be gone for like three weeks.

00:24:50.887 --> 00:24:52.471
He was supposed to be back in two weeks.

00:24:52.471 --> 00:25:02.403
Now I decided to stay down here, you know, because his business is running so well, right, I'm like, I like that, like that freedom, the freedom to say I can be here or there.

00:25:02.403 --> 00:25:04.228
That goes back to it too.

00:25:04.228 --> 00:25:05.691
What are we actually trying to achieve?

00:25:05.691 --> 00:25:08.023
So I'm also free to work a lot.

00:25:08.023 --> 00:25:11.992
So to me, that's very rewarding, so I like it.

00:25:12.099 --> 00:25:15.385
I actually have to curve that, but my story was that way too.

00:25:15.385 --> 00:25:31.208
I was too much on one side and I had to balance things out, you know, because grit can also cause you to do dumb things, because you get very tunnel visioned and sometimes it's that that can be detrimental.

00:25:31.208 --> 00:25:36.011
So it's it's all about what's around you, the relationships you have, what you're actually trying to do.

00:25:36.011 --> 00:25:38.826
So you have to be careful with this.

00:25:38.826 --> 00:25:42.192
I don't have another word that except obsession.

00:25:42.192 --> 00:25:50.208
You're obsessed for that goal and you're going to push through in that time but, you still have to be able to widen the circle and see what's going on.

00:25:50.567 --> 00:25:53.881
And it's not the balance work-life balance thing, because there there is that.

00:25:53.881 --> 00:25:59.923
It's a whole different topic, but it's understanding this grit, this perseverance.

00:25:59.923 --> 00:26:02.550
It can affect those around you in a negative way.

00:26:02.550 --> 00:26:05.346
So you still have to have the awareness.

00:26:05.346 --> 00:26:07.741
You need, that self-awareness, like what are you doing?

00:26:07.741 --> 00:26:12.652
Because to me, how I, that is okay.

00:26:12.652 --> 00:26:18.371
Well, that's part of the grit, that's why it may take longer, because I have to maintain these relationships.

00:26:18.371 --> 00:26:26.647
So I had to come to that realization, like I can't be an island, I can't be just the guy you know, which.

00:26:26.647 --> 00:26:28.472
I turned it into part of the challenge.

00:26:28.472 --> 00:26:41.505
Well, how do I do this, achieve this and still have children that love me, a wife that loves and respects me is there for me, who want to support me, who understand how can I affect them?

00:26:41.505 --> 00:26:44.269
So that just became part of the challenge.

00:26:46.361 --> 00:26:47.586
I think I can resonate with that.

00:26:47.586 --> 00:27:03.432
I mean I've had moments in my life where I've had to actually pull on grit to actually make myself stop and just take a break and sometimes that takes more determination than it would do to carry on.

00:27:03.432 --> 00:27:05.586
I recognize that.

00:27:06.128 --> 00:27:10.945
Yeah, sometimes I do that and I go okay, well, I stopped, now what am I going to do?

00:27:11.859 --> 00:27:12.586
I was like I stopped doing that.

00:27:12.586 --> 00:27:12.679
Well, I stopped.

00:27:12.679 --> 00:27:13.146
Now what am I going to do?

00:27:13.146 --> 00:27:15.000
I was like I stopped doing that, but now I.

00:27:15.000 --> 00:27:20.740
So sometimes you get like it's a limbo, right.

00:27:20.740 --> 00:27:26.226
You like sit there, like okay, well, I guess I'll just watch TV, cause then I'm not working.

00:27:26.226 --> 00:27:33.609
And then you just kind of vegetate in front of a show and you're like, well, this wasn't very rewarding, you know.

00:27:33.609 --> 00:27:38.049
So I try to like, yeah, I have to go to something.

00:27:38.049 --> 00:27:44.409
You know, there has to be a specific thing that's different than what my main thing is, you know.

00:27:44.409 --> 00:27:47.528
So it can be a tough thing to navigate.

00:27:47.669 --> 00:27:48.351
I think so too.

00:27:48.351 --> 00:27:58.503
I mean, there's an experience I remember discovering where that thing of you're hanging out on your own and you're sitting there thinking what am I going to do, what am I not going to do?

00:27:58.503 --> 00:28:24.308
And I've developed this practice of I'm not moving from here until my inner energy wants me to do something, and sometimes I'll just sit there for like half an hour, an hour, and like an hour has gone by, but then I find myself looking at something in the garden and it's very fulfilling because I've let go of all of the other stuff.

00:28:24.328 --> 00:28:32.592
Yeah, I think it's refreshment, right, that's what that hour is, that's refreshing, and as part of my morning routine I have the same thing.

00:28:32.592 --> 00:28:42.286
It's just a time of quiet and dark and there's thoughts that come through and I do things like that, but then it's refreshment and you may get that during the day too.

00:28:42.286 --> 00:28:47.684
Just take this time to re-energize, recreate that's recreation, right.

00:28:47.684 --> 00:28:49.861
Recreate, so you want to recreate yourself.

00:28:49.861 --> 00:28:55.986
So when I learned about the vacation stuff that's what that was it was re -energizing.

00:28:55.986 --> 00:29:03.032
It was just step back, sitting, taking that time to just and not like you're fatigued, but mentally.

00:29:03.032 --> 00:29:06.214
There's a mental refreshment that you need more than the physical.

00:29:06.855 --> 00:29:09.201
Absolutely In my case Absolutely.

00:29:09.201 --> 00:29:15.513
And sometimes the mental refreshment can then permit the body to also relax, can't it?

00:29:15.513 --> 00:29:18.609
Because sometimes the body's not relaxing because of the tension in the mind.

00:29:20.843 --> 00:29:22.779
Yeah, I started with breathing exercises.

00:29:22.779 --> 00:29:26.171
I started to really get into how, to you know, I get done with a workout.

00:29:26.171 --> 00:29:30.410
I have an eight-minute post-workout recovery breathing exercise.

00:29:30.410 --> 00:29:31.613
I'm like, oh, this is amazing.

00:29:31.613 --> 00:29:34.429
And you start to learn what the breath can do right.

00:29:34.460 --> 00:29:38.027
So we're in these high stress situations, I mean belly breathing alone.

00:29:38.027 --> 00:29:47.246
You breathe through your nose and your belly expands and your ribs, the diaphragm actually goes up and touches the heart, which slows the heart down.

00:29:47.246 --> 00:29:54.829
So you can be at this elevated state and just hold that breath and it causes it, literally touches it, and then the heart slows down.

00:29:54.829 --> 00:29:56.333
So that connection.

00:29:56.333 --> 00:30:00.451
So I think about that, stuff like this, and then you feel amazing, right, and you speed your recovery.

00:30:00.451 --> 00:30:02.846
So it's, it's part of the whole during the day.

00:30:02.846 --> 00:30:13.864
Same thing If you get a little, you know, take three minutes, you can do that kind of stuff which my younger self would have said you're just a nut, okay, like whatever, I'm just gonna worry, he's gonna push through, like you, just.

00:30:14.203 --> 00:30:26.486
But now I'm like with age's wisdom, right, we don't get, we get a little bit, a little wiser, we find out things actually work, um, or some, you know, superstar, stud athlete, this doesn't okay.

00:30:26.486 --> 00:30:27.488
I guess it's okay for me to do it.

00:30:27.488 --> 00:30:29.111
Yeah, so I'll try it.

00:30:29.111 --> 00:30:30.681
So, but it works, right.

00:30:30.681 --> 00:30:35.945

Ep 172: Richard Walsh ~ Grit, Endurance & Finding Peace

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