May 10, 2024

Ep 146: Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell ~ Transcending Societal Success Markers for True Fulfillment

Ep 146: Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell ~ Transcending Societal Success Markers for True Fulfillment

Have you ever felt the intense pressure of societal expectations weighing you down, clouding your perception of true happiness?  Lynita Mitchell-Blackwell, our intuitive business coach guest, unveils her transformative approach to personal fulfillment that challenges conventional success markers in our latest podcast episode. With vulnerability and wisdom, Lynita recounts a parental wakeup call propelled by exhaustion, which serves as a stark reminder of the perils of overwork and the loss of genuine joy.

Our conversation with Lynita becomes a beacon for anyone seeking to harmonise their professional and personal lives. We examine the sacred morning rituals and the practice of setting boundaries as crucial steps toward managing stress and maintaining energy. Delving into the enlightening perspective of New Thought, Lynita guides us through interpreting spiritual teachings in day-to-day life, illustrating how a respectful exchange of beliefs can foster inner peace and professional contentment. Her personal story of spiritual encounters showcases the impact of different dialogue approaches and leaves us pondering the profound question: How can we translate spirituality into a more balanced professional practice?

In the spirit of transformation, the episode culminates with a focus on leading from within.  Lynita shares her insights on cultivating an excellent life by our own standards, filled with grace and compassion. This inner work, she suggests, doesn't just change us; it can ripple outwards, creating a kinder society. As we wrap up our time with Lynita, we are left inspired to find our inner light and to contribute meaningfully to a more equitable world. Join us in this thought-provoking episode that's not only an exploration of personal growth but also a call to action for a more empathetic approach to life.

Where to find Lynita:
www.LynitaMitchellBlackwell.com


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Chapters

00:02 - Finding Fulfillment Through Self-Discovery

08:21 - Mindful Practices for Professional Wellbeing

19:38 - Spiritual Evolution in Professional Practice

24:12 - Focusing Within for Personal Growth

32:41 - Finding Your Inner Light Through Grace

Transcript
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00:00:02.363 --> 00:00:07.693
Truth and Transcendence, brought to you by being Space with Catherine Llewellyn.

00:00:07.693 --> 00:00:25.391
Truth and Transcendence, episode 146, with special guest Lenita Mitchell-Blackwell.

00:00:25.391 --> 00:00:34.374
Now you may already know Lenita, but if not, she's an intuitive business coach, which I love the way that sounds.

00:00:34.374 --> 00:00:38.531
Lenita has built an award-winning law firm and publishing house.

00:00:38.531 --> 00:00:48.323
She's a number one best-selling author, a CPA and ordained New Thought Minister, which I will ask her what that is during the conversation.

00:00:48.323 --> 00:00:52.173
She's recognized nationally as an outstanding community leader.

00:00:52.173 --> 00:00:56.207
Frankly, I think we need all of those that we can get.

00:00:57.149 --> 00:01:07.415
Based on her latest book, lenita loves sharing the formula to the ultimate successful life with peace, joy and fulfillment, which is great.

00:01:07.415 --> 00:01:25.094
Now I particularly tuned into something about Lenita, which is she's got a really amazing understanding of the crucial distinction between what we think ought to be fulfilling for us and what actually is or could be.

00:01:25.094 --> 00:01:41.686
And I don't know about you, but I feel like I'm surrounded by people and media encouraging us to want this or that, whether they're trying to sell stuff or people are saying this is what made me happy, therefore you must do it.

00:01:41.686 --> 00:01:47.343
But do we stop and ask ourselves what is it that is actually fulfilling for us?

00:01:47.343 --> 00:01:50.013
And so Lenita has looked into this deeply.

00:01:50.013 --> 00:01:52.763
So we're going to be talking today about fulfillment.

00:01:52.763 --> 00:01:56.272
So, lenita, thank you so much for finding the time to come on the show.

00:01:57.159 --> 00:01:58.887
Katherine, thank you so much for having me.

00:02:00.739 --> 00:02:01.260
Excellent.

00:02:01.260 --> 00:02:23.236
So I'm going to jump right in with my favorite first question, which is if you think back, can you remember the moment when you first realized that your fulfillment was, first of all, very important and, second of all, something that was unique and personal to you?

00:02:31.764 --> 00:02:35.574
Can you remember when that really kind of registered for you as something very important?

00:02:35.574 --> 00:02:37.479
Yes, I remember the exact moment.

00:02:37.479 --> 00:02:43.822
Actually, at the time it was horrifying and painful, but I understand and realize the blessing of it.

00:02:43.822 --> 00:03:07.822
I was doing all the things I ever wanted to do, had my fingers in all the pies law firm, accounting firm, media company, books, speaking and I was so exhausted one day that my then six-year-old daughter found me passed out in the middle of the floor and I was too tired to get up and she thought I was just sleeping.

00:03:07.842 --> 00:03:17.801
So she, she took me in, she got her blanket from her bed and put it over my body and she got her pillow and put it under my head, kissed me on the forehead and said goodnight mama.

00:03:17.801 --> 00:03:21.872
And the only thing I had strength to do was to say goodnight baby.

00:03:21.872 --> 00:03:29.763
Strength to do was to say goodnight baby.

00:03:29.763 --> 00:03:49.060
I realized at that moment that if I continued on like that, that I was not going to be able to see my child graduate from high school, and it forced a reckoning of what is truly important in my life, what actually fulfills me, my life.

00:03:49.060 --> 00:03:52.085
What actually fulfills me and what I came to is that family and friends are the reason that I really do the things that I do.

00:03:52.104 --> 00:03:55.229
We work because we want to enjoy life.

00:03:55.229 --> 00:04:10.080
That's why I work, and I had hijacked my sense of self-worth and self-esteem and replaced it with this idea of what the world said.

00:04:10.080 --> 00:04:18.346
Success looks like this fairy tale of happily ever after that, honest to God, never comes.

00:04:18.346 --> 00:04:37.230
So while that was terrible on so many levels, I see the wonderful result of what that was, and because it was so stark, catherine, I know that I will never go back to that.

00:04:37.670 --> 00:04:46.394
I understand, yeah, I mean, when I heard that story I thought, oh my God, you just cannot ignore that, can you no?

00:04:46.394 --> 00:04:53.973
But I just want to say how sweet of your daughter to just tuck you in and kiss you.

00:04:53.973 --> 00:05:00.483
I mean, you must have been doing something right before that for her to respond in that way, don't you think?

00:05:01.466 --> 00:05:02.108
I think so.

00:05:02.108 --> 00:05:04.654
She and I have a wonderful relationship even now.

00:05:04.654 --> 00:05:05.841
She's a teenager now.

00:05:08.004 --> 00:05:09.286
So this was a few years ago?

00:05:09.286 --> 00:05:11.889
Yes, yes, a few years ago.

00:05:11.889 --> 00:05:14.434
Yeah, you know, we're all.

00:05:14.434 --> 00:05:14.834
You know.

00:05:14.834 --> 00:05:17.867
We all look a lot younger than we are, right?

00:05:17.867 --> 00:05:19.110
I love that?

00:05:19.110 --> 00:05:19.851
Yes, we do.

00:05:19.851 --> 00:05:22.843
Let's just go with that, right?

00:05:22.843 --> 00:05:26.492
So what did you do when you realized this?

00:05:26.492 --> 00:05:28.824
What did you do?

00:05:28.903 --> 00:05:29.425
first.

00:05:29.425 --> 00:05:48.235
So the first thing I had to do was take a moment and take stock and I like to be very transparent when I am talking about my journey, because I find that a lot of people make it seem like it was that moment and then things changed and everything was perfect.

00:05:48.235 --> 00:05:49.199
It was a process.

00:05:49.540 --> 00:05:49.680
Yeah.

00:05:50.180 --> 00:05:55.793
And it took a couple of years before I knew what I had to do next.

00:05:55.793 --> 00:06:05.435
But during that couple of years I went back to what I knew, which was overworking because I didn't know any other way.

00:06:05.435 --> 00:06:34.523
And it wasn't until all of that caught up with me and I had to have a series of progressively horrible surgeries due to stage four endometriosis that I finally reached back into what I know to do, which is to pray, and I asked God for direction and he led me to a performance coach, rowena Silvera Beck, and we worked for a couple of years to scale down my life.

00:06:34.523 --> 00:06:44.324
I had seven pages of activities, roles and responsibilities and we got that down to two.

00:06:44.966 --> 00:06:50.726
But it's not like I just walked away from everything and quit, because these are relationships.

00:06:50.726 --> 00:06:58.595
A lot of the organizations that I was a part of and or leading at the time, a lot of the people there were my friends.

00:06:58.595 --> 00:07:07.052
It was beyond just colleagues and I didn't feel right just toss my hands up and say, oh well, goodbye, um.

00:07:07.052 --> 00:07:18.927
But once we got through that process, catherine, honest to God, I don't know how I was carrying all that yeah um, but I do because it happens to all of us.

00:07:19.447 --> 00:07:24.024
it's not like somebody just takes a book bag, puts it on your back and says go packing, right.

00:07:24.024 --> 00:07:33.189
It's one thing at a time and you're like, well, I'm already doing such and such, so it's just this one little thing, but it's the molehills that make the mountain.

00:07:33.750 --> 00:07:34.692
Absolutely yeah.

00:07:34.692 --> 00:07:40.692
And do you think that you're overworking?

00:07:40.692 --> 00:07:45.651
Do you think that contributed to the endometriosis occurring?

00:07:45.690 --> 00:07:47.440
Oh, absolutely Absolutely.

00:07:47.440 --> 00:07:53.533
The stress of it all, especially when I did some deep digging into the condition.

00:07:53.533 --> 00:08:01.100
For most women endometriosis doesn't bother them 80% they don't even know they have it Right.

00:08:01.100 --> 00:08:02.826
But I was not in that number.

00:08:02.826 --> 00:08:13.293
Not only did I know that I had it, but it had deep reaching consequences to my health and my wellbeing that I won't be dealing with for the rest of my life.

00:08:13.959 --> 00:08:18.771
Right, so you have to do like a whole self-care regimen, because-.

00:08:19.019 --> 00:08:21.184
Oh, absolutely that I continue today.

00:08:21.184 --> 00:08:25.994
I start every day with prayer, meditation, stretching and deep breathing.

00:08:25.994 --> 00:08:33.874
I do not take calls or respond to messages before 7 am to give myself time to reset.

00:08:33.874 --> 00:08:45.432
When I'm talking to people and I'm seeing clients, I take time between them to breathe and expel the exchange of energy that went on between us.

00:08:45.432 --> 00:09:02.811
So I'm not carrying that through the day and these are things that I feel have made me actually a better professional, a better parent, a better life partner to my husband and I would love to say that that was the reason that I did it, but it wasn't.

00:09:02.811 --> 00:09:08.390
It was really to take care of me, and because I took care of me, then I could be better for other people.

00:09:08.899 --> 00:09:20.708
Yeah Well, all those practices you've described sound to me like healthy practices for anyone, but I can also see how they really help keep the stress down.

00:09:20.708 --> 00:09:22.600
Yeah, you know.

00:09:22.600 --> 00:09:32.636
And the fact you say you won't talk to anyone or take messages before 7 am, you know, I thought, my god, you know, even 7 am for a lot of people is early.

00:09:32.837 --> 00:09:49.859
I I've got a friend who won't take anything from anybody before 11 am well, you know, I wish I could, but um A lot of times I have to be in front of someone at eight or nine.

00:09:49.859 --> 00:09:55.446
And so yeah, in my day job, I'm a lawyer.

00:09:57.772 --> 00:09:59.618
You have to show up and you have to be sharp.

00:09:59.618 --> 00:10:03.212
Yes, amazing, what an extraordinary thing.

00:10:03.212 --> 00:10:15.721
And the other thing that struck me when you were talking, you were talking about this business of just keeping adding things on and it gradually gets to the point where you're really carrying an awful lot.

00:10:15.721 --> 00:10:20.760
And you also said about following a path that isn't really fulfilling for you.

00:10:20.760 --> 00:10:24.273
Do you think there's like a direct connection between those two things?

00:10:24.994 --> 00:10:27.115
Oh, absolutely Absolutely those two things.

00:10:27.115 --> 00:10:27.636
Oh, absolutely Absolutely.

00:10:27.636 --> 00:10:53.995
And you know, if we're going to talk about a path, then I'd like to start at the beginning of where most of us begin, and that is with people, whether it's friends, family, community leaders, teachers who love us and want the best for us, and so they teach us what they learned, which is, if you work hard, you will become successful, you will live happily ever after.

00:10:53.995 --> 00:11:08.278
And so it starts off when we start school with stars, and then it's grades, and then it's scholarships, and then it's promotions and raises and benefits and accolades and recognition, right.

00:11:08.278 --> 00:11:09.956
So this never stops.

00:11:09.956 --> 00:11:22.419
It actually progresses and it becomes entrenched and you get to a place where you don't realize that this is how you have defined your life worth.

00:11:23.602 --> 00:11:23.822
Yeah.

00:11:24.909 --> 00:11:36.674
Until it is taken away, or, with me, the thought of not enjoying the things that actually matter are threatened.

00:11:36.914 --> 00:11:38.157
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:11:38.157 --> 00:11:50.912
So you had an amazing wake up and I have a friend who says that these wake ups happen when we're ready for and actually they're a sign that we are already transitioning.

00:11:50.912 --> 00:12:03.332
I don't know if you agree with that I do, you know but there are people who just continue to suffer, for their whole lives aren't there, or they have a wake up, but they don't realize it's a wake up necessarily.

00:12:04.094 --> 00:12:10.561
Yes, In New Thought we say that when the student is ready, the teacher will appear.

00:12:10.561 --> 00:12:13.163
And the teacher is not always a person.

00:12:13.163 --> 00:12:14.865
Sometimes it is an experience.

00:12:15.951 --> 00:12:20.730
Yeah, did you say in Lutheran New Thought, in New Thought, yes.

00:12:20.730 --> 00:12:23.676
Would you describe a bit about the New Thought?

00:12:23.676 --> 00:12:26.681
I mean, new Thought is a lovely phrase, whatever it actually means.

00:12:26.681 --> 00:12:28.063
It's really nice.

00:12:34.850 --> 00:12:37.033
So would you say a bit more about that?

00:12:37.033 --> 00:12:40.198
Absolutely, it's really a mindset of how to view your life experiences.

00:12:40.198 --> 00:13:01.375
Many of us, but not all of us, I do use the Bible as a teaching, as the ultimate resource, but we believe that there is the figurative as well as the metaphysical and the literal translation, and so when we're reviewing and sharing the information, it's what it says, absolutely.

00:13:01.375 --> 00:13:07.735
There are the symbols, yes, but then there is how to enact it in your everyday life.

00:13:08.356 --> 00:13:09.119
Oh yeah, I see.

00:13:09.119 --> 00:13:11.693
Yes, that makes perfect sense to me.

00:13:11.693 --> 00:13:26.423
Yeah, although I don't use the Bible in that way I haven't sort of become familiar with it in that way but I do know it's an incredibly potent thing, isn't it?

00:13:26.423 --> 00:13:27.683
That can be used.

00:13:27.683 --> 00:13:30.409
How long have you been using the Bible in that way?

00:13:31.831 --> 00:13:36.655
So let me see Five years.

00:13:36.655 --> 00:14:26.403
I was raised congregational and then AME church, a Methodist church and then, when I started working on myself and I wanted to deepen my relationship with God and also gain an understanding of how other people viewed God, I wanted a program that would study all the religions, because as I began traveling more, I realized how important it is to understand how other people view God and how God operates in their lives, and so the seminary that I went through Kairos, did an excellent job with that.

00:14:26.403 --> 00:14:44.254
The first year you're studying other religions, and so the second year is when you really dig down into the new thought teachings and how to apply them to life and then how to help other people, and I really love the way that we do it, because we don't press upon anybody.

00:14:44.254 --> 00:14:54.951
It's if someone asks, you share your experience, and then if they ask for more, then you can share your techniques and they take them and they have them fit their lives, however.

00:14:54.951 --> 00:14:57.340
That looks and that really appeals to me.

00:14:57.850 --> 00:14:58.291
Beautiful.

00:14:58.291 --> 00:15:09.722
That just reminded me of an experience I had that was the opposite of that, where, when I was much younger, for a while I had my hair in long braids, which you know.

00:15:09.722 --> 00:15:29.750
There were reasons for that, but it meant I had to go to this hairdresser, which was all African women, and so you'd be sitting there in a chair with four or five women around you, all of them pulling on your hair hard to braid it and telling me why I should become a Seventh-day Adventist Interesting and this was why I should become a Seventh-day Adventist Interesting.

00:15:29.750 --> 00:15:38.197
And this was a very scary experience, I can imagine, because I'm totally in their hands.

00:15:38.197 --> 00:15:42.801
You know, I remember thinking this is a unique experience.

00:15:42.801 --> 00:15:48.640
Do I dare actually respond or argue?

00:15:48.660 --> 00:15:53.815
Probably argue, probably not no, you just sit there quietly do as you're told.

00:15:54.957 --> 00:15:55.879
It was actually very funny.

00:15:55.879 --> 00:15:57.222
I told them afterwards what it was like.

00:15:57.222 --> 00:15:58.152
They thought it was hilarious.

00:15:58.152 --> 00:16:01.619
Um, so I love.

00:16:01.619 --> 00:16:16.616
The sound of new thought sounds absolutely amazing, and it sounds like it, if anything, has made it easier for you to actually cross bridges and talk to people about what really matters God, in terms of whatever they feel God is.

00:16:16.616 --> 00:16:26.043
You know that whole relationship, yeah, how did you then start moving in the direction of being an intuitive business coach?

00:16:27.409 --> 00:16:36.823
So that was something that happened naturally I was about to say organically, but it was a step beyond that.

00:16:36.823 --> 00:16:39.913
I believe that that is within all of us.

00:16:39.913 --> 00:16:50.566
Honestly, it is allowing spirit the divine, allowing spirit the divine to operate through you for the good of your client.

00:16:50.566 --> 00:17:09.609
And so when it first started, it was actually through my law practice and I have clients who I've grown with them, I've started one office and now they have multiple locations and all these employees and are doing well Right.

00:17:09.609 --> 00:17:12.035
And so there's this one.

00:17:12.315 --> 00:17:26.865
We've become very good friends and one day I shared with her that her mother was very proud and, um, she said, no, what my mom really say.

00:17:26.865 --> 00:17:34.092
She said know what my mom really say?

00:17:34.092 --> 00:17:36.858
And I went through what she said and the head motions and things, and she said, yeah, that sounds like my mom.

00:17:36.858 --> 00:18:08.006
Now the interesting part of this, catherine, is that her mother at that point had been deceased for six years and I'd only met her mother once, so it's not like I knew her well enough to be able to mimic her facial expressions, her body movements, the tone of her voice or what she would say, and I didn't know that she had been having self-doubt and had been wondering if her mother was proud of her.

00:18:08.006 --> 00:18:16.460
I had no way of knowing that and the fact that this came during one of our meetings and I just shared that just like that.

00:18:17.181 --> 00:18:28.242
And the thing that let me know that it was time for me to start sharing my gift more openly was that she was not surprised, she was not freaked out, she wanted more.

00:18:28.242 --> 00:18:45.173
And that's when I knew that the consciousness of the world is shifting so that people are ready to understand that they are not this flat two-dimensional being or even three-dimensional being that we have been sold.

00:18:45.173 --> 00:18:52.247
We are full-blooded 4D, 5d beings having a human experience.

00:18:52.247 --> 00:18:57.215
Mm-hmm, quite right yeah, so.

00:18:57.316 --> 00:18:58.017
So that's how.

00:18:58.057 --> 00:19:01.864
That's how it started all right, so you understood.

00:19:01.864 --> 00:19:16.199
So you just found yourself responding to something that was kind of coming through you yes, that your client really valued yeah and it wasn't a shock to them, it wasn't um jarring for them.

00:19:16.199 --> 00:19:17.280
It felt natural to them.

00:19:17.280 --> 00:19:20.765
Yes, so how do you describe when you're?

00:19:20.765 --> 00:19:21.105
When you're?

00:19:21.105 --> 00:19:30.295
Do you just allow that to come through in the moment, as and when it does with the clients, or do you ever with with new clients?

00:19:30.394 --> 00:19:37.592
just try and explain this to them in advance so there are a couple of ways that I have learned to do this.

00:19:37.592 --> 00:20:02.634
Since the first time that happened to now, I actually went back and earned my doctorate in spiritual studies, and so I now include that in my bio, even on my professional bio, my law firm website, so people understand when they're dealing with me that they're dealing with a spiritual person, when they're dealing with me, that they're dealing with a spiritual person.

00:20:02.634 --> 00:20:03.935
So if I talk to you this way, it is not shocking.

00:20:03.955 --> 00:20:04.576
So that's the first thing.

00:20:04.576 --> 00:20:09.570
The second thing is sometimes the things that I am sharing.

00:20:09.570 --> 00:20:20.819
I'm honest, I'm just like I feel I have this intuition, that this, this, this intuition, that, and I'll tell them on this.

00:20:20.819 --> 00:20:22.521
Like you know, this is your life.

00:20:22.521 --> 00:20:37.694
I can't make you do anything, but this is what I'm feeling about what we have just discussed, and some people follow it, Some people don't.

00:20:37.694 --> 00:20:40.243
I don't beat up on them at all and it's not like the practice is separate from what I do.

00:20:40.243 --> 00:20:49.394
So I'm a speaker, I'm an author, I'm an attorney, and so those things the intuition, the intuitive part, flows through those avenues.

00:20:49.996 --> 00:20:51.339
It's not separate in a part.

00:20:51.339 --> 00:21:15.455
Now, sometimes, if someone is going through something and they ask me to pray for them and I will go into prayer and I will tap into my ancestors and I'll ask for an answer for them, absolutely Sometimes it comes, sometimes it's not for me to provide and I will tell them that, like I was told that this is something you're supposed to work through yourself, I am here with you.

00:21:15.455 --> 00:21:18.342
We're still colleagues, we're still friends.

00:21:18.342 --> 00:21:26.679
But part of the intuitive process is understanding and respecting each person's journey.

00:21:26.679 --> 00:21:34.914
That the end, the mile marker, was never the reason for us getting up every day.

00:21:34.914 --> 00:21:38.701
It was the time between us waking up and going to bed.

00:21:38.701 --> 00:21:41.244
That's the reason for life.

00:21:42.211 --> 00:21:45.019
Yeah, yeah, you mean, life itself is the reason for life.

00:21:45.650 --> 00:21:47.355
Yes, I like that.

00:21:47.355 --> 00:21:50.002
Life itself is the reason for life.

00:21:50.002 --> 00:21:51.266
I love that, Catherine.

00:21:51.266 --> 00:21:57.461
I promise I will give you credit for that, but that's hey not necessary, I don't know where it came from.

00:21:57.890 --> 00:22:00.634
Not necessary, I don't know where it came from.

00:22:00.634 --> 00:22:03.278
Beautiful, I love that.

00:22:03.278 --> 00:22:18.438
So that means that people, when they're starting to work with you, they've got an inkling that there's another dimension here, but you're not in any way imposing it upon them and you're not chasing after people.

00:22:18.438 --> 00:22:20.200
In that regard, I love it.

00:22:20.200 --> 00:22:23.484
Fantastic, wonderful.

00:22:23.484 --> 00:22:35.980
So when you had your first wake-up experience, when you were really overworked, were you already doing coaching at that point in time?

00:22:42.670 --> 00:22:42.849
coaching.

00:22:42.849 --> 00:22:47.259
At that point in time I was, but it was focused mostly on helping authors to publish their books and then to get speaking engagements.

00:22:47.259 --> 00:22:49.443
So for the most part it was focused right there.

00:22:50.289 --> 00:22:50.871
I understand.

00:22:50.871 --> 00:23:07.467
Okay, yeah, and so clearly, this sort of emergence of the intuitive faculty and the way you're using it now has a direct relationship with you coming out of that very overworked state.

00:23:08.289 --> 00:23:25.817
Yes, absolutely yes, and it's interesting because Like attracts like, and so when I am working with people, they are at the place where they're ready to come out of that, and so I recognize that vibration.

00:23:26.900 --> 00:23:31.295
Right, great Isn't that great People screen themselves.

00:23:31.295 --> 00:23:37.641
Yes, I like that, yes, and they receive what it is that you can offer yes, which is great.

00:23:37.641 --> 00:23:42.991
See what it is that you can offer yes, which is great.

00:23:42.991 --> 00:23:51.011
So would you like to describe kind of an example of a journey that someone might undergo working with you in regard to this whole question of fulfillment?

00:23:52.453 --> 00:23:53.075
Absolutely.

00:23:53.075 --> 00:24:01.246
So I have a client who she won't let me go.

00:24:01.246 --> 00:24:11.176
That's always a good thing, right, and she won't mind that I would use her name, regina, regina Sunshine.

00:24:11.176 --> 00:24:15.961
When I met Regina, she was already doing the most amazing things.

00:24:15.961 --> 00:24:17.630
She's a media personality.

00:24:17.630 --> 00:24:24.877
So I met her when she invited me to be a guest on her radio show and we just clicked.

00:24:24.877 --> 00:24:33.433
And so a few months later I would say maybe two months later she asked me to be her coach.

00:24:33.433 --> 00:24:50.682
And I'm using that kind of loosely because the coach was also a little agent, a little manager, a little legal, and we were able to work together to grow her business.

00:24:51.369 --> 00:25:01.125
And what it came down to was she had all the components and she had the will, because she'd already been doing wonderful things.

00:25:01.125 --> 00:25:09.565
But it was that missing piece, that the valley right that we had to fill in, which was what does Regina want?

00:25:09.565 --> 00:25:15.363
Not the professional part of you, but like, really, what do you want out of life?

00:25:15.363 --> 00:25:49.263
And and what it was is she wanted to spend more time with her parents at that point, were still living with her parents and have the freedom and flexibility to go back and forth from Atlanta to her hometown in South Carolina, and so that's what we worked on, but that required her to be totally and 100% all in on her, and so when there were things that were inconsistent with those goals, they had to go to the wayside.

00:25:49.263 --> 00:26:03.895
And that is hard for high performing individuals, because we all get to a place, catherine, where we realize when something is going to be a mess, right, and we learn how to sidestep that.

00:26:03.895 --> 00:26:22.789
And so we get to a place in our lives where the things that are coming to us are positive, they are fun, the people involved are people we want to meet, but that's not necessarily aligned with the purpose and the vision that we have for our lives and where we're going Right.

00:26:22.789 --> 00:26:40.103
So it was creating a rubric for her, just like I had to create one for me, of how to say yes and how to say no and getting past the fear of if I say no, there'll never be another opportunity like this again.

00:26:40.103 --> 00:26:40.744
Right.

00:26:40.744 --> 00:26:45.981
And once we got past that, that's when the magic started happening.

00:26:47.250 --> 00:26:51.821
She was tapped to be a contributor for Chicken Soup for the Soul.

00:26:51.821 --> 00:26:54.076
She has been a speaker with them.

00:26:54.076 --> 00:26:58.794
She has started her own coaching business, her own publishing house.

00:26:58.794 --> 00:27:06.040
She has started her own coaching business, her own publishing house and she has done the amazing and she floats back and forth between Atlanta and South Carolina as needed.

00:27:06.040 --> 00:27:12.507
She was able to go home and be with her parents when they went on and transition to the other side.

00:27:12.507 --> 00:27:20.705
She has been a resource for her family and she has been able to enjoy her time with her grandson.

00:27:20.705 --> 00:27:27.324
These are things that happen when we stop putting our focus on the external and start focusing within.

00:27:27.990 --> 00:27:36.691
Yeah, and how do you help people to make that transition from focusing externally to focusing within?

00:27:37.353 --> 00:28:02.746
Yeah, it's truly taking a look at your life, just like I had to do with Rowena, my performance coach, and writing out everything you're involved in and being honest and saying is this thing consistent with where I know that I'm being called to go and, if it's not, coming up with the plan and executing on it of how to remove that, how to extricate ourselves?

00:28:02.746 --> 00:28:11.055
Because sometimes it is very pleasant, people understand, they're supportive, they work with you, but sometimes it's not.

00:28:11.596 --> 00:28:11.778
Yeah.

00:28:12.349 --> 00:28:14.137
And we have to be okay with that, right?

00:28:14.809 --> 00:28:20.442
So do you find that people find it relatively straightforward to make that assessment?

00:28:20.442 --> 00:28:30.756
You know, when you're working through that list, do people quite easily recognize whether something's in line with their vision, their calling, or is it sometimes very difficult for them to see that?

00:28:31.298 --> 00:28:32.300
So that's two parts.

00:28:32.300 --> 00:28:33.933
So can they recognize it?

00:28:33.933 --> 00:28:35.701
Do they recognize it Absolutely?

00:28:35.701 --> 00:28:37.996
Are they willing to always let it go?

00:28:38.416 --> 00:28:39.159
No no.

00:28:39.560 --> 00:28:43.484
No, because remember all these things that we have at this point in our lives.

00:28:43.484 --> 00:28:44.526
They're positive.

00:28:46.230 --> 00:28:50.819
Yeah, but the recognizing it bit is the bit that you can't do for them, isn't it?

00:28:50.819 --> 00:28:52.743
That's exactly right.

00:28:52.743 --> 00:29:03.766
If they can't recognize that for themselves, you can't do that for them.

00:29:03.766 --> 00:29:04.977
But if they can recognize it for themselves, then you can help them to actually make a plan to then do something about it.

00:29:04.977 --> 00:29:07.098
Yeah, that's right, perfect.

00:29:07.098 --> 00:29:19.103
I like that distinction that you have in the way that you talk about what you're doing, that distinction between the bit that they have to do for themselves and the bit that you can actually help them with.

00:29:19.103 --> 00:29:25.763
Yeah, and not trying to step over that boundary yeah you know, I think that's very, very important.

00:29:27.152 --> 00:29:27.613
Thank, you?

00:29:28.233 --> 00:29:43.779
yeah, well, um, one of the things that I um keep in mind is that the realization and the execution it really does have to happen for the person.

00:29:43.779 --> 00:29:50.740
That person has to own that, or we're going to find ourselves back at this place in three to five years.

00:29:51.320 --> 00:29:54.826
Yeah, yeah, yes.

00:29:54.826 --> 00:29:56.588
So do you ever?

00:29:56.588 --> 00:30:02.276
Have you ever had situations where they where, they start off and then they just cave and don't really follow through?

00:30:02.777 --> 00:30:03.539
Oh, absolutely.

00:30:03.539 --> 00:30:11.819
I had a client like that last year and what I wound up saying to him was you know, it's okay because it is.

00:30:11.819 --> 00:30:15.126
I share my journey with my clients.

00:30:15.126 --> 00:30:24.123
Before we start letting them know that from the point that my daughter found me on the floor and the point where the change had to occur was two years.

00:30:24.123 --> 00:30:34.505
So the fact that this is going to take you a little while to really embrace your new normal, I totally get that, and so when you're ready to work again, I'm here for you.

00:30:34.505 --> 00:30:36.625
No judgment whatsoever.

00:30:38.114 --> 00:30:49.701
Yeah, so you don't shy away from pointing out that they're not doing it but you accept it.

00:30:49.701 --> 00:30:50.935
You go.

00:30:50.935 --> 00:30:51.798
Yeah, that's your choice.

00:30:51.798 --> 00:30:52.902
Come back when you're ready.

00:30:53.704 --> 00:30:54.185
Absolutely.

00:30:54.185 --> 00:30:56.000
I mean that's part of the coaching.

00:30:56.401 --> 00:30:58.307
Yeah, yeah, wonderful.

00:30:58.307 --> 00:30:59.922
Well, I think your clients are very fortunate.

00:31:01.217 --> 00:31:01.861
So am I.

00:31:01.861 --> 00:31:03.540
I love them.

00:31:03.540 --> 00:31:05.921
I love every last one of them.

00:31:06.884 --> 00:31:23.162
Wonderful, and I also love how you're emphasizing that all of this comes from the work you've done on yourself, yes, and enables you to help people to make the transition, because you know that journey yourself, because you've done that journey yourself.

00:31:23.162 --> 00:31:25.383
So I really celebrate that.

00:31:25.383 --> 00:31:39.819
So at this point, I like to sort of shift to thinking about leaders, because the world is in, shall we say, an interesting place.

00:31:41.084 --> 00:31:41.585
Well said.

00:31:41.894 --> 00:31:51.123
There's more than one challenge going on and we've all got different ideas about what is happening or what isn't happening, or what should happen, or who should do what about it, etc.

00:31:51.123 --> 00:31:51.544
Etc.

00:31:51.544 --> 00:31:51.944
Etc.

00:31:51.944 --> 00:32:00.904
And there are a lot of people in leadership positions of different sorts, some of which, some of whom you've been talking about and you're working with some of them.

00:32:00.904 --> 00:32:14.886
And, of course, there are people who are just seeking to be better leaders in their own lives, you know, just to kind of front up as a leader in their own lives, and I like to think most of these people are trying to be part of the solution.

00:32:14.886 --> 00:32:35.894
Speak to those people, um, and particularly in relation to what we've been talking about today, what would you like to say to leaders today who want to be part of the solution?

00:32:37.556 --> 00:32:40.857
so we have to start within.

00:32:40.857 --> 00:32:50.844
So before you go out and say I'm ready to take on the world and show the world what it needs to do, we got to first focus on our inner world.

00:32:50.844 --> 00:32:52.463
So that's the first thing.

00:32:52.463 --> 00:33:07.512
And once we have a plan, a strategy that we have actually implemented in our own lives and we have successes, now we can go out into the world and be a shining light.

00:33:07.512 --> 00:33:21.684
And I'm putting it that way, catherine, because going out and trying to recruit people to your way of thinking, that does not necessarily lead to lasting results.

00:33:21.684 --> 00:33:23.788
People have to see you.

00:33:23.788 --> 00:33:31.105
They like what they see, what they feel when they around you, and then they'll come and they'll ask and you can share.

00:33:31.105 --> 00:33:40.069
And if they want more information or for you to coach and lead them, then you can have a different conversation and show them how.

00:33:42.035 --> 00:34:01.587
The reason that we have to shift to that model, opposed to the and I've done the rah-rah make you excited, happy, let's galvanize and get going is because that energy does not last, it's not sustainable, and what we're looking for is sustainable change.

00:34:01.587 --> 00:34:10.458
We want people to be transformed from our interaction, not for a short amount of time.

00:34:10.458 --> 00:34:29.628
We want this to be a lifetime change, one that lights them from within so they can help other people as well, and that help is going to look different depending on what their calling is in life, what their vocation is, and that's absolutely the way that it should be their calling is, in life, what their vocation is, and that's absolutely the way that it should be Beautiful, great.

00:34:29.648 --> 00:34:30.608
So yeah, start from within.

00:34:31.188 --> 00:34:31.409
Yeah.

00:34:32.208 --> 00:34:34.650
Sort out your own self.

00:34:34.650 --> 00:34:35.630
That's right.

00:34:35.630 --> 00:34:36.411
That's right.

00:34:36.411 --> 00:34:45.498
Go out and be a shining light yes and attract people to you yes, beautiful.

00:34:45.498 --> 00:34:48.860
And then assist them to be a shining light and to help others do the same yes, beautiful.

00:34:48.860 --> 00:34:57.371
I think that's wonderful, wonderful advice for any leader, and it's also very encouraging, as well as being very beautiful.

00:34:57.371 --> 00:35:04.775
It's very encouraging because it's it's not coming from a place of you know you're a mess, so therefore you've got to change.

00:35:04.775 --> 00:35:08.864
It's coming from a place of you know you have a light within you yes follow.

00:35:08.884 --> 00:35:19.407
That that's um, and that you know, I feel that, talking to you, lenita, that you, that you, you're very tuned into this notion, that that we all have a light within us.

00:35:19.407 --> 00:35:31.670
You know that we can shine and that to me that's a very spiritual perspective and it's a very encouraging and lifeful perspective.

00:35:31.670 --> 00:35:34.202
I think it's a wonderful thing for any of us to embrace.

00:35:34.202 --> 00:35:37.081
So really, thank you for that.

00:35:37.081 --> 00:35:56.938
In a minute I'm going to ask you where you would like people to go if they want to find you, but before I do that, is there anything which, if you don't say it during this conversation in an hour's time, you'll kick yourself because you didn't say it about any of the things that we've talked about today?

00:35:58.601 --> 00:36:37.387
Yes, the biggest thing that I would really love for people to take from this conversation is that the shift happens when you stop trying to live a perfect life and instead live an excellent one, and the difference between the two is a perfect life is living up to someone else's standards, but I got to tell you, those standards might be very positive, they might be loving and come from a place of good intention, but they're not yours, and so once you shift over to an excellent life, that means that you are creating your own standards and there is grace built into them.

00:36:37.387 --> 00:36:46.449
Grace is the key to this, so that you give yourself a pass, an opportunity to rethink.

00:36:46.449 --> 00:36:57.237
You give yourself a pass an opportunity to rethink, to redo, to retry whatever it is that is in front of you and to know that if things don't turn out exactly the way that you had in mind, it's okay.

00:36:57.237 --> 00:36:59.362
That was part of your process too.

00:36:59.963 --> 00:37:02.467
Right, and is that what you mean by grace?

00:37:03.235 --> 00:37:05.400
It is, it absolutely is.

00:37:05.822 --> 00:37:09.516
Could you say a bit more about grace, because that's one of those beautiful words as well.

00:37:10.239 --> 00:37:27.668
Yes, you know, I was introduced to the concept of grace through my religious teachings growing up in the church and it was always affiliated with God's grace and mercy of perpetual forgiveness.

00:37:28.688 --> 00:37:34.623
And now that I am older and I've lived a little bit and experienced other people, I realize it's so much more than that.

00:37:35.465 --> 00:37:43.322
It is God's grace, but we can extend grace to others and we have to extend it to ourselves as well.

00:37:43.322 --> 00:38:17.655
This is an idea that we were never supposed to be in perfection, that the opportunities to grow and to expand come from the missteps and the bumped knees and interacting with people that are sometimes are not the most comfortable, sometimes are not the most comfortable, but they allow us to see places for improvement, and that we are able to say thank you and move on and do better the next time and not beat up on ourselves.

00:38:17.655 --> 00:38:51.351
And I really think that if the world had more understanding of the concept of grace from that perspective, that we will be kinder to one another, that we would not have a lot of the conflicts that we have in the world, we certainly would not have war to the extent that we have, and we would be able to have more compassion for people and we would be more willing to share resources so that we don't have just a few people with a whole lot and so many people with nothing.

00:38:51.994 --> 00:38:54.378
Yeah, Beautiful.

00:38:54.378 --> 00:38:55.260
Thank you so much.

00:38:55.260 --> 00:39:02.369
I'm very, very glad that we took that minute to kind of pull out those last ideas.

00:39:02.369 --> 00:39:09.717
Very, very beautiful, last ideas, Very, very beautiful.

00:39:09.717 --> 00:39:13.686
So the other question I always like to ask people right at the end is we've talked about quite a lot today and it's been very juicy and beautiful.

00:39:13.686 --> 00:39:15.936
I feel For you.

00:39:15.936 --> 00:39:18.806
Has there been a favorite part of our conversation today?

00:39:19.815 --> 00:39:28.121
Oh, absolutely Our conversation, this little part grace, because I've never had an opportunity to dive deep on that.

00:39:28.121 --> 00:39:29.838
So, thank you, Catherine.

00:39:30.057 --> 00:39:31.882
Thank you, my complete pleasure.

00:39:31.882 --> 00:39:35.456
That was a real nugget of gold at the end of the conversation.

00:39:35.456 --> 00:39:38.224
So, lenita, where would you like people to?

00:39:38.224 --> 00:39:39.775
Go if they would like to find you.

00:39:40.376 --> 00:39:46.186
I would love for you to visit me on my website, which is my name lenitamitchellblackwellcom.

00:39:46.186 --> 00:39:51.259
Lenita spelled L-Y-N-I-T-A, and from there we can connect.

00:39:51.259 --> 00:39:59.146
You can join my email list, we can connect on social media, can follow my blog and hopefully one day we'll get to meet in person.

00:39:59.815 --> 00:40:00.215
Beautiful.

00:40:00.215 --> 00:40:01.880
Well, we'll put that in the show notes.

00:40:01.880 --> 00:40:04.327
Thank you so much, Lenita.

00:40:04.327 --> 00:40:12.224
This has been a really delightful way to spend an afternoon being with you.

00:40:12.224 --> 00:40:19.097
It's always delightful to connect in with somebody who's living a life following their calling.

00:40:19.097 --> 00:40:21.586
I feel that's true of a lot of my guests.

00:40:21.586 --> 00:40:24.717
I'm very privileged, and it's certainly true with you.

00:40:24.717 --> 00:40:28.364
Thank you so much for coming on and have a beautiful, beautiful day.

00:40:29.186 --> 00:40:30.748
Thank you, and you as well, catherine.

00:40:34.596 --> 00:40:43.579
Thank you for listening to Truth and Transcendence and thank you for supporting the show by rating, reviewing, subscribing, buying me a coffee and telling a friend.

00:40:43.579 --> 00:40:53.704
If you'd like to know more about my work, you can find out about mentoring, workshops and energy treatments on beingspaceworld.

00:40:53.704 --> 00:40:56.603
Have a wonderful week and I'll see you next time.